


Better Off This Way

by catholicorprotestant



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha Iwaizumi Hajime, Alpha Matsukawa Issei, Alpha/Omega, Angst with a Happy Ending, Engineer Iwaizumi Hajime, Fluff, M/M, Omega Hanamaki Takahiro, Omega Oikawa Tooru, Omega Verse, astrophysicist oikawa tooru, doctor matsukawa issei, previous pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-12-13 23:34:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21006008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catholicorprotestant/pseuds/catholicorprotestant
Summary: Six years after Oikawa disappears without a trace, Iwaizumi finds himself running into him at his new job. As details of Tooru's life emerge, Iwaizumi only finds himself with more questions than answers. Will he finally get his answers to Oikawa's mysterious disappearance?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I got this idea and have been inspired! I've already got a couple chapters churned out, so I figured this would be a good time to post! I don't really have an update schedule, but I'm gonna try to keep it to at least once a week. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The leaves on the trees were starting to change color, and the air had a fresh crispness to it that Hajime was thoroughly enjoying. He loved autumn. The oppressive summer heat turned into something more forgiving. Being outside didn’t feel as suffocating. And though he wouldn’t admit it to Tooru in a million years, he loved the clothes his boyfriend wore in the fall. It was more fashionable than anything else he wore. Tooru like to pride himself on being into fashion, but the truth was unless it was cold out, he didn’t know how to dress. Plain and simple. Hajime couldn’t wait until they could go do fall shit. Every year they’d go to the various autumn festivals. Food was the best this time of year. They’d pack a picnic lunch and go for a hike to admire the changing colors just to end it with a picnic. Halloween was a particular favorite. Tokyo was more vibrant than back home. Tooru always had a list of all the various parties and planned their costumes meticulously. 

Tooru didn’t seem as excited this year though. He’d been off for a few weeks and now he was sick almost every day for the past two weeks. He kept finding him clinging to the toilet. His appetite was gone, and certain smells had him heading to the bathroom. Lately he would just eat crackers and broth. Hajime tried to get him to see a doctor, but Tooru kept brushing him off telling him was fine. The omega was simultaneously distant and clingy lately. He rarely said much, but he followed Hajime around like a puppy. And he kept bringing up weird shit. Hajime couldn’t wait until he felt better. He hated seeing Tooru like this. 

He walked into the apartment to find Tooru staring blankly at the television. It was clear he wasn’t watching it. He had a blanket wrapped around him. Hajime dropped his bag on the floor and sat down next to his boyfriend to greet him. Tooru hadn’t even seemed to notice that Hajime had come home. He jumped slightly when the couch sunk down next to him under Hajime’s weight. 

“You’re home,” Tooru said softly. 

“Yeah. How are you feeling?” 

Tooru shrugged and played with the blanket. “Iwa-chan?” 

“Hm?” 

“Are you sure you don’t want a baby?” 

Hajime sighed, and rolled his eyes. Tooru kept talking to him about this. He’d never been one to even care if he had a child or not, and for the last month he kept bringing it up. He pulled away from Tooru, and stood up. 

“Why do you keep asking me?”

“I just want to know,” Tooru said, not looking at him. 

“No. I don’t. I like other people’s kids, but I don’t want to have any. The thought of being a father makes my skin crawl. It’d be miserable. I don’t think I could handle it. They’re too much. They suck all your energy. Plus they’re expensive as hell. They’re messy and annoying. No. I don’t want a kid. I’ve told you this a million times.”

He rolled his eyes, and glanced back at Tooru who was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“Okay,” Tooru said softly. “I was just wanting to make sure.” 

“Do you want a baby?” 

Tooru didn’t answer. He just turned his focus back to the television. Hajime sighed and took his things to his room. Maybe he was just getting close to his heat. That was why he was acting weird. He always got a little off right before. And it was natural for omegas to think of babies around them as well. After all that was what heats were for. Still he’d never been this insistent before. It was getting really fucking annoying. 

“Iwa-chan?” 

Hajime jumped. Tooru was standing in the doorway in a pair of baggy sweatpants and one of Hajime’s hoodies. His hair was a mess and he had dark circles under his eyes. He hadn’t noticed it before in the dimly lit living room. Now in the light of their bedroom was it apparent that Tooru looked like absolute shit. 

“What?”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

Tooru shifted, and hugged himself. “What...what if I got pregnant? What would you do?” 

“I don’t want kids, Tooru,” Hajime rolled his eyes. “That’s why you take birth control and we use a condom, and why you take emergency contraceptives during heats.” 

“But what if?”

“Do you want a baby?” Hajime stared at him. Tooru seemed to tense. 

“It’s not that I want one just…” Tooru trailed off. “I’m just wondering.” 

Hajime could feel his blood pressure rising. He was getting so tired of this question. He was quiet for a moment. 

“We agreed no kids. Look we’re nineteen, Tooru. That’s not even an appropriate time to have a kid. As much as I love you, if you really want a kid that badly, then maybe it’d be best to just go back to being friends. That way we’re both happy.” 

“Oh…” Tooru breathed. “Um...no, it’s not...I’m sorry.” 

Tears slipped from Tooru’s eyes, and his body started to tremble. Hajime cursed under his breath, and went to him. He pulled the man into his arms and held him. 

“I’m not dumping you, Shittykawa,” Hajime said gently with a tiny smile on his face. He kissed Tooru’s forehead. 

“I know,” Tooru said gently. “I just…” 

“What?” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Let’s go to bed.” 

“It’s only nine.” 

“You’re sick and you look like you could use the rest. Maybe tomorrow you’ll feel better.” 

“Yeah…” Tooru breathed. 

Tooru sat down on the bed and watched Hajime strip down to his boxers. He flipped the light off and laid down his bed. Tooru immediately curled up next to him. His scent was off. He smelled almost afraid. But of what? Hajime tried to release a calming scent to his omega to try to soothe his nerves. Whatever he’d come down with, Hajime wanted it to go away. He wanted his boyfriend back. He missed him.

“I love you,” Tooru whispered.

“I love you, too,” Hajime said back kissing Tooru’s hair. “Go to sleep.” 

Tooru snuggled into him. Hajime closed his eyes and let his boyfriend’s warmth and steady breathing lull him to sleep. 

The alarm blaring on Hajime’s phone woke him up. He rolled over to shut it off and found Tooru sitting on the bed watching him. He didn’t look like he’d slept at all. Hajime smiled at and reached out to him. Tooru took his hand. Hajime kissed it before pulling Tooru to him. 

“Did you have trouble sleeping?” 

Tooru nodded and snuggled against him. 

“Be sure you get some sleep today though, okay? I have to work all day, but I’ll bring dinner home. What do you want?” 

“Don’t worry about that,” Tooru said softly. “Just get something for yourself.” 

“I’m not going to just not get you food. You’re sick.” 

“I’m okay,” Tooru forced a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. It didn’t even look like a smile, more like his shrugging the corners of his mouth than anything. 

“Hey...what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired.” 

Hajime watched him for a moment before getting out of bed. He showered quickly and got dressed for work at the auto shop. Tooru didn’t move from where he was sitting on the bed. He just watched him silently. 

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” 

Hajime ran his fingers through Tooru’s hair. It was still so soft even though he was sure Tooru hadn’t showered in a few days. He hated seeing him so sick. Tooru claimed it was nothing, but it was obviously something. It made him so angry that he couldn’t just take him to the doctor. Tooru refused to go. Said he went already and things were supposed to get better on their own. He assured him it was fine, and while Tooru did have the evidence he’d been seen, there was nothing stating that he was indeed fine. On the contrary, Tooru was a mess. 

“I love you,” Tooru said. He pulled Hajime into a kiss. Hajime pushed him away. 

“You know I can’t get sick. I gotta go to work and take care of you.” 

“It’s not contagious,” Tooru said quietly. He averted his teary eyes. “I promise. I just want to kiss you for real.” 

“When you’re better. You’ve been off for two months now.” 

“And you haven’t gotten sick because what I have isn’t contagious.” Tooru chewed his lip. 

“I’ll check in on you when I get a chance. I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“Love you,” Tooru said catching his hand and lacing their fingers together. “Remember that always, okay? That I love you. And I do things because I love you. Okay?” 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.” Tooru forced a smile through his tears.

Hajime kissed Tooru’s head and left for work, ignoring the churning in his stomach. 

*****

Tooru always liked the way that Hajime smelled when he came home from the shop. He said that the oil and gas on him made him smell sexy. Up until Tooru started feeling sick, it was a sure way to get laid. But it had been awhile since the last time they’d been physical. Tooru just wasn’t feeling up to it, and Hajime had other ways of relieving himself. He was looking forward to Tooru feeling better and his heat. Sex was always the best then. Tooru was so eager and wanted anything Hajime gave to him. He’d do things that he normally wouldn’t be into during those times. It was such a different feeling. It made something stir low in Hajime’s stomach when he thought about it. Every day he was hoping to open the door or wake up to Tooru back to his usual self. 

Today he hadn’t been able to get ahold of Tooru. His phone was going straight to voicemail. It worried him, but he just kept telling himself that Tooru was asleep. He usually turned his phone off to sleep. Still, when he knew Hajime was going to call him, it was strange. Not even a text. He opened the door, and flipped the lights on. 

“Tooru?” 

No answer. 

Hajime kicked the door closed, and put the food on the counter. He’d opted to pick up some soup for Tooru to help soothe his stomach. The apartment was still. He walked into their room. Tooru was nowhere to be seen. He knocked on the door to the bathroom. 

No answer. 

He opened it, and his heart sank. 

All of Tooru’s toiletries were gone. He checked the cabinets. Nothing. He ran to the closet. All of Tooru’s clothes had vanished. Nothing in the drawers. Hajime tore the house apart finding no trace of Tooru. Not even a spare sock. He called Tooru again. 

“We’re sorry. The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please hang up and try your call again.” 

“No…” Hajime couldn’t breathe. He noticed a piece of paper stuck on the refrigerator. 

_Dear Hajime, _

_Remember I do things because I love you. _

_Remember I love you forever. _

_I love you so much that even though this hurts, I know it’s for the best. I love you. Even as I sit here and write this, my hand is shaking. My heart is breaking, but this is what’s best. If you love someone, let them go. I’m letting you go, Iwa-chan. I love you. _

_I’m so sorry. _

_Love always, _

_Oikawa Tooru _

He held the paper in his shaking hands. Gone. Tooru was gone and had put it under some stupid guise of love. What the hell? There was no explanation. Hajime hadn’t noticed any signs that Tooru was leaving. No signs they were breaking up. He was acting weird, but not in a way that gave off any signs as to leaving. He didn’t understand. What was happening? Was he sicker than he was letting on? Was he dying?

He called Tooru’s mother, but she claimed she didn’t know where Tooru was. She told him that Tooru was okay though. He wasn’t dying. Tooru’s sister wasn’t much more of a help. He crumpled on the kitchen floor and sobbed. He regretted every mean thing he’d said to Tooru. He regretted not staying home. He wished he’d held him more, showed him how much he cared as much as he told him. Maybe then he wouldn’t have left. He called the only person he could think of.

“Hello?” 

“Mattsun?” Hajime choked out. “Have you heard from Tooru?” 

“No, what’s up? Are you okay?” 

“He’s gone. All his things are gone.” 

“What?” 

“He left me.” 

“Where are you?” 

“Home.” 

“Okay, I’m coming. Don’t move.” 

Hajime hung up, and stared at the note in his hand. How? How had this happened? Nothing made sense. 

He didn’t know how long he sat on the floor reading and rereading the note by the time his friend got to him, but he’d burned the words into his head. Mattsun sat down next to him and took the note from his hand. 

“Fuck…” 

“Right? I don’t know where he would have gone. His mom and sister claim they don’t know where he is, but assured me he’s safe. I just want to know why.” 

“Did you two get into a fight?” 

“No. I mean he’s been acting really weird lately, but he’s been so clingy. And this note doesn’t exactly say that he hates me. I just don’t understand.”

Mattsun nodded, and wrapped his arm around his friend. “Well it’s Tooru. You know how he gets dramatic. I’m sure he’ll show up.” 

“He disconnected his number.” Hajime raised his eyes to Mattsun’s. “And he’s blocked me on social media.”

“I texted Takahiro to see if he knew anything, but he told me he hasn’t heard. We were supposed to have a date tonight, but he cancelled. He had some homework. He told me he’d come over here.” 

“Why’d he leave?” Hajime whispered dropping the note.


	2. 6 Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support so far! It makes me so so happy. I was too excited not to update. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_ **SIX YEARS LATER** _

Hajime knocked back another beer. He could feel his cheeks red and warm from the alcohol. His friends really knew how to throw him a good party. Twenty-five. He’d seen his life panning out differently. He had been so sure he would be married to Tooru and they’d be traveling when they had the chance by now. Instead he still had that open wound with no signs of closure. Tooru had simply disappeared without a trace. He even dropped out of the university. He’d worked so hard to go to Japan’s number one school, but in a blink of an eye, he was gone. He didn’t even see him when he went back home and his parents still lived a couple streets over. No, Hajime was now getting over yet another breakup and being fired. He was starting a new job tomorrow, and would probably regret all the drinking he was doing now, but he was going to celebrate dammit.

Takahiro plopped down on the couch next to his husband, and rested his hands atop his swollen stomach. He looked so exhausted these days. He thought he was tired before with just Hiroki, but now that he was seven months along with their second child, he looked damn near a zombie. Issei was a doctor at the ER now, and as such worked a lot leaving his husband alone with their eighteen month old son. Takahiro leaned against Issei and closed his eyes. 

“Do you want to sleep?” Hajime asked. “I can go.” 

“No.” He turned to smile at him. “I just got Hiroki down for bed. I finally get some time in the party.” 

“You two are fucking saints. I don’t know how you do it. I’d probably blow my brains out if I had a kid,” Hajime smirked. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Hiroki, but that’s because he’s not mine. I can play with him and give him back.”

“It’s nice,” Takahiro smiled. “Even if it is exhausting.” 

“Yeah, seeing the smile on that kid’s face when he sees you is the best. And when he gets scared, how we can make everything better...it’s priceless,” Issei smiled. 

“If you say so.” Hajime finished off his beer. “It’s frustrating that every omega just wants a kid these days. Tooru was fine not having kids. Fucking asshole…” 

“We’re not supposed to talk about him. Tooru who?” Issei reminded him. 

“Sorry, it just pisses me off. Like who the fuck does that?” Hajime shook his head. “And it’s funny because I’m gonna be working at the place he dreamed of working at for years. It’s ironic. I mean he probably just had a mental breakdown because like it was coming. Trust me. Still…” 

“He’s a piece of shit who doesn’t respect anyone but himself. We’re not ruining the party talking about him.” 

“Maybe I want to talk about him.” Hajime snapped sending a glare to his best friend. He balled his hands into fists. Every single fucking time he brought him up from the second he left he was silenced. “Maybe I want to stop being silenced any time I talk about it.” 

Takahiro shifted on the couch, and pulled away from Issei. “I just think it’s funny how you think it’s okay to trash someone you knew for fifteen years, who you claim to have loved.” 

“He left me,” Hajime said. “No warning. I don’t even know why.” 

Takahiro laughed, and stood up. “You’re too much, Iwaizumi. Way too much. You don’t even realize you’re not innocent.” 

“What? Are you still friends with him?” Hajime glared.

“I may talk to him from time to time,” the omega said with a shrug.

“What does he say about me?”

“Nothing. Just asks how you’re doing.” 

“Takahiro, I told you to stop talking to him!” Issei snapped. “Whose side are you on?” 

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, Issei. And I’m not on anyone’s side! I shouldn’t have to pick sides. He’s my friend and you’re my friend.” Takahiro brushed tears off his face. “I’m going to bed. Happy birthday, Hajime.” 

Takahiro stormed off, albeit just a little awkwardly. Hajime and Issei watched him go. Hajime rolled his eyes. Issei glanced back at him. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make him upset.” Hajime played with his beer bottle. 

“Don’t worry. It’s the pregnancy hormones. It’s got him all out of sorts.” 

Hajime shrugged. “He can do what he wants. Just pisses me off. But you know how omegas are, always sticking together.” 

Issei nodded. “But you shouldn’t think they’re all the same, Hajime.” 

“Yeah. Thanks for this, but I’m gonna head out. I should probably give myself some time for the alcohol to be cleansed out of my system.” 

Issei nodded, and stood up. He walked Hajime to the front door, and gave him a hug. “Take it easy, man. And you know, fuck that guy. You really need to get over him. It’ll be good for you.” 

Like he hadn’t heard that before by literally everyone he was close to. Get over it. Get over him. But the problem was he didn’t have closure. It wasn’t like they broke up on a normal circumstance, and Tooru had told him it was because he loved him. It was bullshit. He wanted to know more. He tried to get over him. He tried to get into new relationships, focus on himself, travel, work out. It didn’t make a difference. He sighed.

“It’s not that simple.” 

“It’s been six years. You haven’t heard from him.”

“Do you think Takahiro could convince him to talk to me?” 

“No. Good night, Hajime.” 

Issei slammed the door in Hajime’s face. He sighed, and buried his hands deep in his pocket as he made his way home. Tokyo was alive around him. Cars were still flooding the streets, and people were still crowding the sidewalks. The buildings were covered in lights. Tooru always loved this. He loved cities more than anything, and Tokyo was his favorite in the country. The first year without Tooru there for his birthday had been hell, and while now it was still hell, the sting was only slightly gone. He thought about him. What was he doing? How was he doing? He wondered where he was at in life. Did he have some new alpha? Were they married? Did they have kids? He tried to imagine it, but the idea made his stomach churn. 

No shade to anyone who had a child, but Hajime just couldn’t see the smooth, milky skin of Tooru’s stomach being ruined with stretch marks and stretched skin. It wasn’t attractive. Maybe that’s how he should think of him. Maybe even with saggy breasts and spit up all over him. Maybe that would ruin the image of him in his head. His perfect hair, not so perfect. Dark circles permanently under his eyes. That’d be perfect. He needed to see that. He wanted to see it. Because if he could see him as anything other than the beauty he was, then maybe…

Hajime unlocked the door of his apartment, and threw his keys on the counter. It wasn’t much. Just a lonely one bedroom he’d gotten at a discounted rate. He didn’t need much. As long as he had a place to cook, shower, and sleep, he was fine. He’d rather save his money for travel. He showered quickly and laid in bed finding himself looking through old photos of him and Tooru throughout the years. It was funny because for so long, Hajime had wondered why someone like Tooru would ever be with someone like him, and there it was. Tooru was better than him. Always had been. Out of his league. Even though Hajime was pretty handsome himself, he wasn’t at the level of being able to have an omega so gorgeous at his side. People always said so. Tooru had always told him it was silly. He said there were no such things as leagues and that people’s beauty faded over time. Love was forever.

Or so he said. 

There was no used dwelling on that. Tooru was gone, and he needed to get over it. 

“Happy birthday to me,” he muttered. 

He sighed, and tossed his phone to the side, and fell asleep, ready to start the new job tomorrow. He couldn’t wait. He’d revel in the fact that he was somewhere Tooru wanted to be, but couldn’t since he dropped out of school. 

*****

Tooru wiped the food from his daughter’s face. One day she’d get better at getting the food in her mouth, but today was not that day. He’d read a post once about how there would be a time where he’d wipe his last dirty face. It had hit him like a bittersweet wall. On one hand, it would be nice to not have to be chasing after her with a wet cloth, but on the other it meant his baby was growing up. He just wanted her to stay little forever. He kissed Kaori’s head, and went to get  
dressed. It was getting late. Every morning they got up earlier and earlier, but it never failed that Tooru would be clocking in at eight o’clock on the dot. Not late, but not early either. 

He quickly pulled on his suit, gathered his daughter’s things and headed out the door. He shifted Kaori in his arms, and sipped on his coffee while he waited for the train. She was so sluggish in the morning, definitely not a morning person. There were things she definitely got from her father. 

He carried her onto the train, and held her in his lap. He was sure not to make eye contact with anyone. People weren’t too kind about being an unmarked, unwed omega mother, so he’d gone so far as to get a fake wedding band to wear out. He’d learned that over the years. When he became noticeably pregnant in his job as a waiter, he was fired because someone complained about it. He had to hold his breath when he was hired at work. He didn’t even mention that he had a child. Nobody knew for a few months he even had a kid. The world was unforgiving. He’d learned that the past six years. It was even hard to get her into the kindergarten program. If it weren’t for Takahiro, he didn’t know how he could get her looked after when he worked. Every time she was sick, he’d hold his breath when he called in. He waited for the day he’d be told he was fired. 

He got off at the stop for Kaori’s school, and hurried to get her inside. The teacher wanted to talk his ear off, and it took ten minutes for his daughter to stop throwing a tantrum so he could leave. It seemed like every day he was going to be early for work, she’d have a meltdown. He didn’t have the heart to just leave her there to cry. Even the teachers tried to get him to just leave her, but he wouldn’t. 

Tooru checked the time as he reached work. He had five minutes. He threw his coffee away and ran into the building for work. 

*****

Hajime badged in, and was taken to where he’d be getting trained. He’d be in a team with four other engineers. They’d work with two astrophysicists. It was all so crazy. He’d never really had much interest in aerospace. He had gone the whole mechanical engineering route. He had always dreamt of developing cars or machines. He’d run into someone from school who worked as an aerospace engineer. He’d put in a good word for him, and now he was on his way to learning what to do on the job. His former classmate insisted it wouldn’t be very difficult to go between the two areas, but Hajime wasn’t so sure. 

He sighed with relief when he saw Akaashi - Keiji - sitting at one of the desks in the cubicle. Keiji had since been married, and had insisted Hajime just call him by his given name to make things easier when he met his husband. At least he’d know one person here. He greeted his new team, and sat down. Keiji began to go over the day’s work. They were currently working on a satellite program. 

“Basically just crunch the numbers using the formulas. You know numbers, right? You always did well with that,” Keiji smiled. 

“Yeah, yeah, okay. I can do that.” 

He got into a bit of a groove. He loved math. Always had. Numbers were always the same. They didn’t change. If you knew how to use a formula, you can solve anything as long as you follow it properly. It wasn’t difficult. It was straight forward and methodical. It was almost monotony. It was a bit of a comfort to Hajime. People thought he was smart, but really he was just good with numbers. He knew how to make things with numbers. Everything else in his life wasn’t as successful. It was hard for him to make sense of much else. Takahiro told him he was the densest motherfucker in the world. He said that to him all the time. It was true. He was the first to admit it. 

Someone rushed past their cubicle. One of the other engineers sucked his teeth and shook his head. “That guy is always running in here last minute.” 

Hajime glanced up, curious. He wasn’t sure how this company was, but his last one would fire you if you were just on time. They expected punctuality. He could only see the back of the person’s head as he stood at the punchclock. He watched him scan his ID and rush away into one of the offices. Though it was only from the back, Hajime had a nagging feeling of familiarity. 

“He’s one of the astrophysicists. An omega. He had a kid who allegedly makes him run just barely on time. One of the reasons they shouldn’t let omegas work here. Kids become the priority.” 

Keiji shifted in his chair. Hajime glanced over at him. He knew the man was also an omega. Did the others know? 

“I think we should mind our own business,” Keiji said firmly. 

“You’re only saying that now because you’re also one. I swear, Keiji, you better not turn into that when your crotch goblin arrives.” 

Keiji shifted, and turned back around to work on what he was doing. The exchange made Hajime uncomfortable, but he wasn’t sure how much he could get away with as the new guy. He knew that there were older generations who felt a certain way about omegas, and even some their own age, but not like this. It was too much. All he could think about was how Tooru was the strongest omega he knew, strongest person he knew. He’d probably have this guy for breakfast. He’d love to see how he’d sass this man. 

“Don’t you think he’s a good engineer?” Hajime asked. Keiji stared at him, and slightly shook his head. 

“Keiji? Yeah, best of the best in my opinion. But he doesn’t have a kid yet. Once they get kids, they’re all scattered.”

“I know plenty of alphas who have kids that are scattered as well.” 

“But omegas are just wired differently, right, Bokuto? They’re connected to the kid.” 

“I couldn’t say,” Keiji said quietly. “My husband is a bit more enthusiastic than I am.” 

“But look at your husband.” 

With that Keiji turned around and got back to work. Hajime watched them for a moment before going back to his own work. 

It went on like that for a while, just the four of them working on the growing que that was kept on corner of the computer program they were being given. The math had to be checked by all four of them before being put back through the computer program. The astrophysicists had their work they gave to them as well. That had to be checked first. Hajime had thought they did a lot of checks, especially with the computer programs double checking as well. It was after four checks that it was run into the computer for the final time. It seemed like overkill. This was just a satellite. It wasn’t like they were doing anything for a rocket, but he guessed the smallest error could be detrimental. 

“Excuse me, have any of you worked on checking my calculations? I’m running behind and i need to submit my work.” 

Tooru. 

Hajime turned his head so fast. He was standing in front of them with his arms crossed, with his mouth pulled to the side. Tooru didn’t seem to notice him at first. The moment he saw him his eyes grew the size of dinner plates. He opened his mouth a few times but didn’t say anything. 

“Iwaizumi-san…” He swallowed hard. “I didn’t know you worked here.” 

“First day.” 

Tooru nodded. “Welcome. Since you’re new here, I won’t be too hard on you, but you must understand that when we send the work to you, that takes priority. Now please get the calculations done immediately. I need them for a meeting I have in an hour.” 

“There’s no way to check in an hour.” 

“Perhaps you should have started on them when I first sent them this morning at eight thirty. Thank you.” 

Tooru turned and walked away from the cubicle. Hajime watched him walk away. He turned to his computer and blinked. How was he here? More importantly why was he acting so coldly towards him? Was he feeling guilty?

“You know Oikawa-_sama_?” the engineer sneered, the honorific in dripping sarcasm. “Dude acts like his shit don’t stink. Comes in here acting so high and mighty.” 

“Uh, yeah, we grew up together. Lost touch.” Hajime’s voice sounded far away.

“Don’t mind him. He gets behind a lot. That kid of his takes up all his time,” the other said.

“Kid?” 

“Yeah.” 

Hajime didn’t know how to process all this information. Tooru worked here and he had a kid? Oikawa? Wouldn’t it be his alpha’s name? Maybe he kept the name because of his PhD? But that didn’t seem like something he would do. And speaking of his alpha, someone else could seriously put up with him? Not that he’d ever minded Tooru much. But he was a lot to handle. He knew every last bone to pick. He pushed your buttons. He held a grudge for life. He was stubborn and strong willed. It was all the things Hajime had loved about him that had driven him crazy at some point in time. A twinge of jealousy coursed through him at the thought of another alpha knowing that about him, touching him. Tooru wasn’t supposed to be with anyone else's. 

He froze. Why would he think that? He’d never thought like that. Sure he could be jealous, but to quite literally claim Tooru like that? He shuddered involuntarily, and starting working on Tooru’s calculations. 

*****

Tooru could barely focus in the meeting. His heart was racing. He couldn’t sit still. Over the past six years, Tooru had worked his hardest to make a new life for himself. He’d gone through somewhat of a healing process. What would happen now? 

He had never expected to see Hajime again. Ever. Least of all not in JAXA, and especially not in his team. He had enough trouble being an omega at this company, and now there was Hajime who according to Takahiro was not his biggest fan. There was bad blood. He was more than aware most people didn’t like him here. Keiji was his only person remotely close to being a work friend, but that was because he was the only other omega in the department. Now he had to worry about Hajime telling them things about him. Would he do that? He couldn’t be sure. There really was no way to be for certain, was there? 

The meeting ended, and Tooru beelined to his office. He picked up one of the few picture frames off his desk. It was a family portrait from last New Year. Him, his parents, his siblings, their partners and kids, and Tooru holding his daughter close. He ran his finger over his daughter’s face. She was so perfect. Her wavy black hair was braided back into a bun with a big pink bow tied around it. Her little arms were wrapped around his neck. That day had been so fun. Kaori had fun playing with her cousins. Takeru had made her and the other kids do what he wanted them to do. As the oldest, he had that right. Tooru had protested only for his brother to tell him to shut up, and then led him away from the kids into the sitting room where they’d gotten him to drink warm sake with them to forget his stress. They’d had a good time, and presents were exchanged. It was a good holiday. 

He set it down and picked up another. It was from last summer when he’d taken her to the beach. They’d built an elaborate sand castle, and Kaori wanted a picture with Mommy. Someone had been kind enough to take the photo. She was beaming at the camera. Her green eyes danced with happiness. After that photo had been taken, they’d destroyed the castle. He could still hear her squealing laughter. 

Tooru jumped at the knock on his door. Keiji was standing in the doorway with his bento in hand. Tooru offered him a smile. 

“Hi.” 

“Do you want to have lunch together outside?”

“Of course,” Tooru smiled. “Let me just get my lunch from the refrigerator. Sit down. It’s not good for your to be on your feet so much.” 

Keiji nodded and offered a small smile. He entered Tooru’s office as Tooru made his way to the breakroom. It was crowded. Of course. Tooru did his best to stay assertive as he walked through the room. He’d learned long ago to be an omega in an alpha dominated area, one had to hold their head up high and not back down. It’d worked in sports. It worked now. The alphas moved out of his way was he opened the fridge to get his lunch. 

“Tooru, can I talk to you?” 

Tooru froze. He took a second to compose himself before straightening up, and turning to face Hajime. 

“Oikawa.” 

“What?” 

“You call me Oikawa.” 

“What’s up with that?” Hajime asked. 

“It’s my name.” Tooru glared at him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Iwaizumi-san, I have someone waiting for me.” 

“Just one thing-”

“I said I have to go.” Tooru turned to go only to have Hajime catch his arm.

“Can you at least just tell me why you left?” he asked so close Tooru could feel his breath on his skin. “Since we’re working together.” 

Tooru’s breath caught in his throat causing him to freeze. His heart pounded in his ears. Suddenly he was closer to Hajime than he’d been in six years. Part of him wanted to throw himself into the man’s arms. But he couldn’t do that. He’d always love Hajime, but he couldn’t let his guard down. Not now. Not ever. He swallowed hard to regain composure.

“Don’t you dare fucking touch me.” Tooru pulled away. 

“Tooru, look, I just-’

“Leave me alone, or I will report you for harassment,” Tooru said in the iciest tone he could manage before walking out of the breakroom. 

He managed to keep himself together despite wanting to curl in the corner and die. He was quite proud of himself. He picked up Keiji and they went to the courtyard. The sun was shining, birds were chirping. There was a slight breeze. It was perfect. Calming. He and Keiji liked to get away from the stench of alpha. It put them on high alert throughout the day, and especially now that Keiji was pregnant, he didn’t want him stressed. 

“How are you feeling?” Tooru asked opening his thermos full of tea. 

“Okay. Just a bit light headed.” 

“Does Koutaro still fuss over you?” 

“Too much,” Keiji smiled. “The second I get home, he’s trying to feed me. He’ll make me put my feet up, and rub my feet. I’m barely even showing.”

“That’s sweet. Really, it is.” Tooru smiled. “I was living alone when I was pregnant with Kaori.” 

“I still cannot believe your alpha told you he’d dump you if you wanted a kid.” Keiji shook his head. 

“I knew he didn’t want kids.” Tooru took a bite of his food. “It just sort of...happened. I’m okay with my choices. Really. Don’t worry. I just want to keep seeing you and Takahiro get spoiled.” 

“Do you want more?” Keiji glanced up at him. “I know some alphas I could set you up with.” 

“Kaori is my priority right now. I don’t think I’m ready to date.”

Keiji nodded. “I hope I have a girl. Kaori makes me want a girl.” 

“Could you imagine Kotaro with a girl?” Tooru grinned. 

“He wouldn’t know what to do with himself.” 

“He’d die." Tooru giggled. "I still have some of Kaori’s stuff if you want it.” 

“Definitely if I’m having a girl. Your taste is perfect.” 

“Thank you!” 

Before long they had to get back to work. Tooru settled into his office, and sighed. His eyes lingered on his pictures. He had to take them home before it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment! ❤️


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still getting everything set up! Hope y'all are enjoying it so far!

_Dear Hajime, _

_Remember I do things because I love you. _

_Remember I love you forever. _

_I love you so much that even though this hurts, I know it’s for the best. I love you. Even as I sit here and write this, my hand is shaking. My heart is breaking, but this is what’s best. If you love someone, let them go. I’m letting you go, Iwa-chan. I love you. _

_I’m so sorry. _

_Love always, _

_Oikawa Tooru _

Hajime had the letter memorized for years, but he had to read it over again. _ Remember I love you forever._ Hajime scoffed, and threw the letter aside. Tooru didn’t act like he loved him. He refused to talk to him about anything other than whether he’d done the calculations. His voice was always cold and professional, or icey and hostile. He always seemed to put a glare on his face when he saw him. He refused to be in the same room as him. If they were ever in the breakroom at the same time, Tooru would promptly leave. He’d threatened reporting him on grounds of sexual harassment on more than one occasion. How was that love? And where did Tooru get off acting like he was the one who was the problem? Tooru had left _him,_ but the omega seemed to have it twisted. It pissed him off. 

Maybe he was trying to get Hajime to realize it was over. Tooru was a mother now. He was married. He’d moved on with his life. But Hajime just wanted an answer. A single answer. They’d grown up together. They’d dated for six years. They had plans for the future and talked about them often. And Tooru just left out of the blue. He didn’t even try to explain it. He’d been a coward. And now everything Hajime knew was gone. All these years he just figured Tooru had dropped out. He put Tooru in these scenarios in his head to try to make him hate him. But he was still so caught up in him. He wanted to be set free. Try as he might, he couldn’t move on. He was tied to the omega. Tooru was the one who had all the power to set him free, but he refused. Just one conversation. Was that too much to ask? 

He took a swig of whiskey, and stared at the blank television screen. He could feel himself spiraling. Tooru had thoroughly broken him six years ago. He didn’t know what to do anymore. He realized how he much he talked to Tooru, how much he was ingrained in every aspect of his life. He was the first person he talked to about anything going on in his life. Tooru had been his confidant. He confided his deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings into the man. He knew him inside and out. He never had to set things up. Tooru always just knew. Tooru knew him better than he knew himself, and he knew Tooru better. When Tooru left it was like Hajime had been a fish ripped from water and was now having to learn to walk and breathe air. It was exhausting. And when he finally had this land thing down somewhat, Tooru appeared and gravity slammed Hajime to the ground hard. 

Issei had told him to find a new job. He personally despised Tooru after what had happened. Takahiro had never really taken sides, or so Hajime had thought. He had always been kind enough to tell Hajime that he was right, that Tooru shouldn’t have left like that, but his words had always seemed like there was a “but” after. Hajime had never asked his friends to take a side, but part of him expected it. This wasn’t some little fight. Tooru had left Hajime a shell of his former self. Why wouldn’t they be on his side? But then he found out Takahiro had been maintaining a friendship with Tooru this entire time. It was like a slap to the face. And though it had been a couple weeks since it was revealed, he’d noticed that there was a riff now between the unit. Issei seemed personally offended by the act of betrayal. Takahiro was getting frustrated by the alpha trying to dictate his life. Hajime felt bad for putting them in the middle, but Takahiro was wrong. 

There was a knock at the door. Hajime groaned, and rolled his eyes as he got up to answer it. He was shocked to see Takahiro standing there with Hiroki in tow. He was sleeping soundly against his mother’s chest. The man’s face was red and blotchy. His eyes were shimmering with tears. 

“Hiro…what...?”

“Can we come in?” 

“Yeah,” Hajime stepped aside. “What’s wrong?” 

The omega brushed past him. He hugged his son a little closer to him. Hajime closed the door, and flipped the lights on. 

“Can I get you something to drink? You hungry?”

“Issei’s working late again,” Takahiro said quietly. 

“Oh okay,” Hajime shifted his weight. 

Takahiro sat down on the couch, and adjusted his son. Hajime took note of the dried food and snot on his friend’s shirt. He unconsciously scrunched his face in disgust. The omega was always covered in some kind of body fluid or food these days, ever since he gave birth to Hiroki. 

“We got into a fight,” Takahiro said while he ran his fingers through his son’s hair. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Hajime frowned and sat down on the arm of the couch. He rubbed his palms over his sweatpants. He had to admit, this was uncomfortable. He hadn’t been alone with Takahiro since before he and Issei got married and bonded. The friendship he’d once had with the omega had changed. They weren’t as close, and part of him had a nagging feeling that he was crossing forbidden territory or that he was somehow disrespecting Issei. And since Tooru left, Hajime could feel the subtle pull and tension between them though Takahiro never seemed to show it. 

“He volunteered.” Takahiro shook his head and let out a silent laugh. “He literally volunteered to work late on the one day he was supposed to come home at five. I am thirty weeks pregnant. My back hurts. My feet hurt. My ankles are swollen. I’m exhausted. I keep the house clean, make sure there’s food cooked when Issei gets home, and I’m running after a toddler all day. I was looking forward to being able to rest this evening. Just hand Hiro to his dad so I could sleep. And I miss Issei. We could have a movie night or something. You know? It’d be nice, but he told me he was working late. He had the nerve to tell me don’t wait up.” 

Hajime nodded. “Then why not just go to sleep instead of coming all the way over here?” 

Takahiro stared at him for a moment with an unreadable expression. His eyes were a mixture of hurt and anger, but there was also something lonely in them. Tears filled the man’s eyes. 

“Do you know how it feels to only interact with a toddler who can’t even speak real words yet all day is like? I try to tell Issei all the time, but he doesn’t get it. When he’s home half the time he doesn’t want to talk to me, just Hiroki, the other half of the time when he does talk to me it’s about Hiroki or the baby or sex. And then, and then he’s mad that I still talk to Tooru because god forbid I’m friends with someone he isn’t. I’m sorry, but I want someone who understands what this is like.” 

Takahiro wiped the tears from his eyes. He pressed his lips to his son’s head. Hajime watched him closely. He met Hajime’s eyes. 

“I love my son. I do. I love being a mother. And I am so thankful I can stay home. It was terrifying walking into that daycare and seeing my baby with a knot on his head and dried poop stuck to him with a rash and he was so hungry he practically ripped my shirt off. But holy shit, dude, it’s lonely.” 

Hajime waited for the man to continue before he spoke. “You really think Tooru understands what you’re going through? He works full time. Probably has a nanny. His alpha is probably rich as hell and pampers him. He doesn’t spend the day around just a kid.”

“His alpha?” Takahiro narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Yeah. I feel sorry for the bastard.” 

“You…” Takahiro opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. “Tooru understands. He gets what it’s like to basically be on your own.” 

“You’re not alone,” Hajime rolled his eyes. “Issei is there. And Tooru isn’t either.” 

“You don’t even know the first thing about his life, Hajime. Stop acting like because you knew him for most of your life you know anything about the last six years.”

“Whatever. Why don’t you join one of those mommy groups? Then you can cry it out with them. Your kid will make a friend, and so will you.” 

Takahiro shook his head slowly. “I don’t like that idea.” 

“Why?” 

“Do you know how judgemental those omegas are? I’m not this perfect mom. I don’t feed my kid only organic. I buy him McDonald’s. I let him watch TV and play outside. He isn’t learning five languages and he doesn’t know math. He barely speaks in real words. And I don’t let him pick his clothes because it takes too long and I pick him up. I hold him. I let him sleep in our bed. Why would I want to be around a bunch of moms who just take pleasure in bringing you down.” 

Hajime nodded. “This is why I don’t have kids. I told you. I told you a million times.” 

“This was a mistake.” 

Takahiro struggled to get up. Hajime went to help him only to be shooed away. Hiroki started to fuss for a moment before settling back down. Takahiro wiped the tears from his cheeks as he headed to the door. He stopped for a moment before turning back to Hajime. 

“You know, you’re a real asshole sometimes.” 

Hajime didn’t say a word as he watched his friend go. He rolled his eyes, and grabbed the bottle of whiskey off the counter. He didn’t understand omegas who complained about being mothers when they chose to become mothers. It was so stupid. Complaining about a situation that you put yourself in didn’t make much sense. Plus the kid was there to stay. 

“This is why I don’t have kids,” Hajime muttered as he took a swig from the bottle. 

*****

Tooru rubbed his exhausted eyes while he made dinner. His body felt almost numb from how tired he was. He couldn’t wait for a day off. This weekend he had promised Kaori they would go to Disney. She’d been seeing the commercials since the season was starting back up. Finally this year she’d actually be able to go on rides. She wanted to take pictures with all the princesses. Her favorite was Belle. She liked her puffy dress. In fact currently, Kaori was obsessed with Beauty and the Beast. She watched it every chance she would get. Lately he was putting it on in different languages just to have some peace of mind. 

“Mommy?” 

“Yes, baby?” Tooru smiled at her as she walked into the kitchen. 

“Is the food ready?” 

“Almost. Do you want to set the table for me?” 

Kaori smiled and nodded. She crawled up on the little step stool they kept by the sink so she could wash her hands while Tooru got out the plates, cups, and utensils. He went back to cooking while Kaori did her best to make sure the table was set perfectly. She disappeared and when she came back she had a little vase with play flowers in it. She set it in the middle of the table. 

“Mommy, look!” 

“You did such a good job!” Tooru cooed. 

Kaori beamed up at him. He kneeled down and kissed her head. Tooru finished up dinner, and started setting the food on the table. Kaori picked what food she wanted, where he put it, and how much. Tooru had learned over the years it was just the easiest way to get her to eat. At this point he didn’t care what she ate, just that she ate. He didn’t have time for anyone who wanted to criticize him. He wasn’t about to shove food down her throat. He couldn’t force her to eat. So might as well let her pick. He was about to sit down himself when there was a knock at the door. 

“I’ll get it!” Kaori jumped up. 

“No, you don’t,” Tooru said firmly as he walked after her. He picked her up and opened the door.

“Makki!” Kaori exclaimed, hugging Takahiro’s leg. “Mommy maked us dinner! 

“Oh yeah?” Takahiro smiled, setting Hiroki down. The toddler rubbed his eyes and tottered into the apartment. 

“Yeah. I set the table!” 

“Good job,” Takahiro smiled. 

Kaori seemed to be satisfied and ran back to the table. Tooru turned to Takahiro. The omega looked so exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his lids were drooping slightly. His eyes were slightly bloodshot to top it all off. Tooru frowned and shooed him into the apartment. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m about to lose my mind,” Takahiro muttered. “I’m sorry to intrude like this. I just...Issei's working late again.” 

“Again?” Tooru frowned and sat down next to his friend. “It’s been every day now he’s been gone.” 

“For the last three months, but you know he took off for Hajime’s birthday,” Takahiro brushed a tear off his cheek. “It’s like I might as well just be raising Hiroki alone.” 

Tooru shifted at the mention of Hajime. He glanced back at Kaori who was attempting to feed Hiroki. He knew she didn’t know who he was, but at mentions of his name he always felt the need to check on her. He turned to back to Takahiro. 

“How’d you do it, Tooru?” he whispered. “Because I’m about to lose my shit. I haven’t, I haven’t been able to interact with another adult in forever it seems. Other than when you pick up Kaori. Issei barely speaks to me about anything other than our kids or sex. Like he doesn’t ever ask me how I’m feeling or thank you for dinner or wow, the house looks nice. If I have to watch another episode of Chi’s Sweet Home, I’m going to scream. And at least Issei comes home. How do you do it alone?” 

“Because I have to.” Tooru smiled at him sadly. 

“You don’t. Have to I mean. He’s not over you. He’s not. He drinks a lot more now. I mean I was just there, and he was drinking a bottle of whiskey. I don’t think I ever see him not drinking. He’s tried to move on, but he can’t. He pretends like he hates you, but he doesn’t. Issei, oh, Issei hates you. God, Tooru, if you could just maybe try because if I’m going insane, I don’t know how you do it.” 

“No.” Tooru said firmly. “I am not talking to him. I’m not. I have Kaori. I made a choice. And I do what I have to do. I work. I interact with other people. You need to do that more. Have you tried explaining things to Issei?” 

Takahiro shook his head, and laughed slightly. “He doesn’t get it. He brushes me off.” 

“Make him listen. I know he loves you.” 

“Does he? He says he needs to work more because we’re having another kid. I kind of have this feeling that he’s just gonna keep putting babies in me so he can justify being away longer and longer. And you know, I let it spill that I still talk to you. He got so mad. We got into a huge fight after Hajime left. I went to the shower and just cried. When I got out, he was asleep. Why do I have to pick a side? Why?” 

“You don’t. Nobody’s asking-”

“They are. Issei is. Hajime...he’s never like come right out, but I can tell he just assumed I’d be on his side. And there are times when I feel like I’m going to explode. I can’t sit there and listen to them trash you. Sometimes I feel myself almost screaming the truth.”

Tooru’s breath hitched for a moment. He hadn’t ever expected how dangerous it could be to have Takahiro be in the middle. It wasn’t like he’d exactly thought about it. He kind of had a breakdown when he’d found out he was pregnant, and he was the only person he could tell. He never wanted this to happen. He felt so guilty for it, and now looking at his friend in front of him practically shaking from being so on edge, he felt like the worst friend in the world.

“If being friends with me is causing you trouble, I wouldn’t blame you if you leave. I don’t want to cause you problems.” Tooru hugged his knees to his chest. 

“No! God, no. I couldn’t do that. I need you. I know he’s not like controlling or anything, but he gets upset if I’m friends with people he’s not friends with. I mean, I guess not upset. He’s just like ‘I don’t know them.’ I don’t know. Sometimes I just feel like I’m going crazy. How am I gonna have two, Tooru?” Takahiro stared at Hioki. 

“Are you hungry? I made Yakimeshi.” Tooru smiled. 

“You only made enough for you and Kaori.” 

“I didn’t. I made more.” 

A small smile danced on Takahiro’s lips and he slowly shook his head. “You’re such a liar.” 

“Eat. You’re pregnant. I’ll make something else. Besides, Kaori probably won’t even eat much.” 

“Why don’t they eat?” Takahiro groaned.

“It’s part of being a toddler I guess.” 

“Kaori is five and hasn’t outgrown it.” 

“She’s barely outside of toddler age. Now come on. Get up. Eat.” 

“You’re such a mom,” Takahiro laughed as he let Tooru pull him to his feet. 

Tooru made sure the three of them had food before sitting down with the little that was left. He really didn’t mind it. Takahiro needed it most. He was pregnant. Then the kids. He watched Hiroki eat the food from his mother’s plate with his fingers, showing him every grain of rice or piece of egg. His heart tugged. He missed Kaori being that little, but at the same time he was glad that she didn’t eat off his plate as much. He used to not even order his own plate when he’d go out since he knew she’d just eat his food. 

He didn’t remember Issei ever being one of those alphas who ignored their omega, but everything about Takahiro’s appearance screamed touch-starved. It was hell on an omega’s body, especially one that was marked. The withdrawals from not having Hajime with him had left Tooru near the edge, but good ol’ Makki was right there for him through it all. Except now he refused to be called anything but Takahiro. Not since Hiroki was born. He knew Issei wasn’t being distant on purpose, but he wasn’t listening. Maybe Takahiro wasn’t communicating it well. Maybe he could intervene. Maybe he could just tell Issei what his husband needed. 

Once dinner was finished, Tooru insisted Takahiro lay down while he bathed Kaori and put her to bed. She always wanted the same bedtime story read. Tonight she fell asleep halfway through the book. Normally, he’d finish reading and hold her for a little longer before slipping out. But he had Takahiro to take care of. He pulled away from his little girl, kissed her forehead, and ventured out to the bedroom. 

Takahiro was laying in bed holding Hiroki who was babbling incessantly. He had a smile on his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Tooru swallowed hard. He’d been there. Nobody talked about that, how isolating motherhood could be. Tooru had alway said that rationalized to himself that this was his choice. He left Hajime. He knew he was signing up for single motherhood. But it killed him to see Takahiro feeling this way. He’d married his high school sweetheart who always showered him with love and spoiled the shit out of him. He thought they’d have this great life. He was always boasting about how they were going to be such a good unit. Things were so good for a while. They raised Hiroki well together. Takahiro gushed about it. But then slowly, Issei worked more and more. Takahiro had expected that when Issei decided to be a trauma physician, but now it was by choice. It sounded heartbreaking. But Issei wasn’t doing it to hurt him. Tooru knew that for a fact. 

“Hey,” Tooru said gently. 

“Hey.” 

“Are you telling Mommy a story?” Tooru cooed, scooping up his friend’s child. 

Hiroki stared at him with a big smile before babbling again. Drool dribbled down his chin. Tooru giggled, and wiped it off with his thumb before wiping it on his pants. Takahiro watched him for a moment, the smile gone. 

“He’s really active at night because Issei comes home then. He gets really excited to see his dad.” 

“That’s really sweet.” 

“He….he’s been having meltdowns lately because he’s not seeing him. I just...I don’t know what to do.” 

“What have you told Issei?” Tooru swayed his body gently. 

“Just that I’m getting stressed. That I want him to come home. And then he tells me to just go lay down as if it’s that simple. As if I can just go lay down with a baby.” Takahiro hugged a pillow. “I don’t want to be clingy and push him away.” 

“Give me your phone.” 

“Huh?” Takahiro narrowed his eyes.

“Give me your phone. I want text him something.” 

“Tooru, no.” He shook his head. “He’s not going-”

“You don’t know that. You won’t know until you try it. You need to be direct. Communicate.” 

“Like you communicate so well?” 

Tooru took a step back and set his jaw. “That’s not fair.” 

“You’re trying to tell me what to do, and clearly you’re not that good at it.” 

“Fine, Takahiro. Fine. Then just not get your needs met. I bet you he’s just working more because he wants to have enough money saved for when the baby comes. You’re not working, and he doesn’t want to make you feel pressured into it. You know he’s never liked to burden you with things. If he doesn’t know how you’re feeling, how’s he supposed to change?” 

Takahiro stared at him, and shook his head. “He’s different now, Tooru. Him and Hajime are both different. Ever since you left. They’re more…” he paused to search for the word. “...cold? So I don’t know if that’s really what he’s doing.” 

“You don’t know until you try.” 

“I don’t like getting relationship advice from you, and you know it.” 

Tooru swallowed hard. “We had a very good relationship until I got pregnant.” 

“And you never even told him.” 

“I tried.” 

“You hinted.” 

“Look,” Tooru brushed his hair out of his face, “I did what I felt was best for my daughter.” 

“How’s not having a dad best for your daughter?”

“Because he would have been miserable. He would have made her feel badly. I am not going to defend myself again. You don’t get to judge me on what I think is best.” 

“I’m sorry. You’re right.” Takahiro got up from the bed. “I should probably go. It’s getting late. Issei might be home. I’ll see you Monday, okay?” 

Takahiro took Hiroki from Tooru, and hugged his friend. He pressed a kiss to his cheek and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Any time.” 

Tooru hugged Takahiro, and walked them to the front door. 

“Get some rest. Text me when you get home. Tell him what you need before your kill yourself, please.” 

“You mean before I blow my brains out?” Takahiro let out a soft laugh. 

“Yeah. Stay strong. I love you. Good night.” 

“Good night, Tooru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment. ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while to get up. I'm on vacation right now, so I've been busy. 
> 
> There's some drama ahead. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Tooru coming back into Hajime’s life had seemed to put his world in disarray. Every waking moment, Hajime was thinking about the omega. He played their relationship over and over in his head. He thought about that night, about how Tooru looked, how he clung to him. He was sick. His eyes were sunk. He couldn’t eat. He’d been so frail. And yet…

“Iwaizumi-san? Iwaizumi?’ 

Hajime jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder. He turned around to find his coworker leaning back to look at him from his chair. Hajime pulled himself out of his thoughts, and turned to the alpha with a smile. 

“Sorry, I’ve just had a lot on my mind.” 

“Oikawa is getting pissed that you’re not getting on his calculations, and he thinks you’re ignoring him because he sat here for five minutes talking to you. He may not be our boss, but the guy can get you fired. The astrophysicists are more valuable than us engineers. Not as many of those floating around. And the ones around here tend to get moved to Houston.” 

“Oh...” 

Hajime glanced at his screen. The queue was filling up. He had forgotten he was even at work. Keiji was staring at him from his right. 

“Sorry.” 

“You need to focus. You’re still new. And I have my job riding on this too,” Keiji said gently, but with a firm edge to his voice. “I vouched for you.” 

“I know, I know,” Hajime muttered. “I’m just going through some stuff.” 

“Well get it together.” 

“I’m gonna get some coffee. Maybe I’m just tired.” 

“Your head…” the other alpha muttered. 

Hajime got up and went to the breakroom. The smell of fresh coffee wafted into the hall. He took a deep huff of the scent. So good. He opened to door to find Tooru sitting at the table with a deep frown on his face. He had his phone pressed to his ear and an almost panicked expression on his face. 

“Have you tried giving her some motrin? That should make her feel better. She’s almost six, so she just got shots is all. She’s not sick. She just runs fevers.” 

He didn’t seem to notice Hajime entering the room. He was too engrossed in the conversation. Hajime took the opportunity to pour himself a large cup and grabbed the sugar. He poured the contents in thinking how Tooru always used to get on him about needing coffee with his sugar. Tooru was a black coffee type of person even though anyone who’d met him would find it hard to believe. He said it was the purest form and really set the mood. Hajime just could never do it. The acidic, bitter taste made him gag. 

“I can’t leave work. I have a meeting. Can you please just- No, I don’t have anyone to pick her up.” 

Hajime heard his coworker’s voice in his head talking about how omegas shouldn’t be hired here. In a way, he did understand his sentiment, but at the same time, couldn’t a damn alpha take the time to lift a finger to provide for their child? He remembered his father used to take care of him just as much as his mother. They often would alternate who stayed home with him and his sister when they were sick. Seeing Tooru this worried made him feel guilty for not saying more. It wasn’t like omegas were single parents or anything. It took two to have a child. Maybe Tooru should just quit if his alpha wasn’t going to step up. Tooru had always been the type to never settle for less. He could tell he put his kid first. It made him angry that he’d seriously mate with an alpha who didn’t step up. 

Tooru ran his hand through his hair, and tears glistened in his eyes. “I’ll see what I can do.” His voice was so defeated as he hung up his phone. 

“You know you could just ask your alpha to help you, you know. Don’t be so stubborn. I see some things haven’t changed.” 

Tooru stared at him for a moment with an unreadable expression. “Don’t meddle.” 

“I’m not. I just came to get coffee. You have an office. You can talk in there if you don’t want anyone overhearing your conversations. I’m just trying to be helpful. Geez.” 

“Helpful. Right.” Tooru nodded, and got to his feet. “Well I don’t need your help. You’ve done enough.” 

Without a word, Tooru turned and walked out of the room leaving Hajime alone. What what did he mean by he’d done enough? Just another mind game, he was sure. He finished off his coffee and walked out of the breakroom. Tooru was standing in their boss’s office with his arms crossed over his chest while the man spoke to him with narrowed eyes. Hajime watched through the glass for a second before making his way to his desk to finish up the calculations. Not like it really mattered if the man was going to leave to get his child. He wondered why schools didn’t have a place to keep sick kids whose parents worked. What if their parents literally couldn’t leave without getting fired? It didn’t matter. He wasn’t planning on having kids. 

“Take whatever time you need, Oikawa. I hope she feels better.” 

Hajime glanced up to see Tooru coming from their boss’s office carrying his things. He walked past the cubicle. Hajime’s coworker huffed. He turned to Keiji. 

“Oi, Bokuto, you gonna be leaving work to go after your kid?” 

“Me or his father,” Keiji said, not pausing his work to answer. 

“Shiiit, if my omega even thought about it, I’d shut that shit right down. I have work to do.” 

“I feel sorry for your omega,” Hajime muttered. “And your kids.” 

“Hey, fuck you, Iwaizumi. You don’t even have an omega.” 

“Mhm,” Hajime answered, his thoughts filling with memories of him and Tooru slow dancing in their kitchen to a song that came up on the radio. Tooru’s face was so lit up. 

He pushed the memory from his head and got back to work more confused than ever.

*****

Weekday mornings were stressful. Tooru had to be at work by eight. The commute took anywhere from half an hour to forty-five minutes which meant they needed to leave by seven at the absolute latest. He woke up at five-thirty to shower and make breakfast for Kaori. He’d wake her up which took half an hour. That left them with an hour before they left for her to eat, but she’d whine about being tired. Tooru would pack her lunch while she ate. He didn’t like to make it before school because everything tasted off. Kaori wouldn’t eat it, and would be hungry all day. He had to drag his daughter out of the house, and then when they got to the school, she’d always have a meltdown. It left him clocking in by the skin of his teeth. He’d walk into a schedule if there were meetings, and he’d start working on everything. It was hard, but it was life. 

Which was why weekends meant sleeping in and staying in pajamas. He’d make Kaori pancakes, and she’d get to decorate them however she wanted. Usually it was with fruit and whipped cream. They’d watch cartoons all day. Sometimes they’d go to somewhere special like Disney or a museum. In the summer they’d go to the waterparks. It just depended on how they were feeling. This was the last six years. Weekends were sacred. Tooru knew if he didn’t have the weekend, he’d be absolutely insane by now. Nobody ever mentions that. He wished he’d told Takahiro more. Maybe then he would have had a better plan, but nobody really had a plan when it came to raising kids. Plans just lead to disappointment and frustration. 

Tooru hugged his little girl closer, and kissed her head. Her breathing was even and calm while she slept. Birds were chirping outside, and cars were honking on the street below. The world was already alive, but it was so early on a Saturday. He missed her so much during the week, but in these moments when she was asleep, he wanted nothing more than to slip away and have a moment to himself. He weighed the options before deciding to get up. He thanked the stars that Kaori slept so soundly. 

He went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and some toast. His phone buzzed on the counter. He picked it up and chewed his lip in contemplation. Kaori’s best friend’s father was texting him about going to the park today. It was too early for this. He didn’t know if Kaori would be up to it, and he sure as hell wasn’t at this point in time. He was exhausted. It turned out that Kaori’s fever hadn’t been just from her shots, but she was actually sick with a cold. She seemed to be getting better, but the last three days had been taxing. He hated seeing his baby sick. Tooru rubbed his face, and set the phone down without replying. He’d decide later. For now, it was time to just exist. 

He poured a cup of coffee, picked up the book he’d been trying to read, and curled up on the couch to read. The past six years had been hard. So much had changed. He didn’t have Hajime in his life anymore. He never deleted his number, and would just stare at his phone with it queued up. All he had to do was hit the button to make the call, but in those moments he forced himself to close the app. He read through their old texts. He still had them. He liked to see how happy they were. It reminded him of where his daughter came from. She came from love and health. She came from kindness and vulnerability. He loved her for it. There were days he’d get on messenger and type out things he wanted to say to Hajime. He’d tell him he missed him, how stressed he was, what Kaori was like and what she was doing. Hajime would never see those messages because Tooru had him blocked. It was therapeutic. 

Being a mom was hard. It meant that he didn’t get to take care of himself the way he should. Back then, he’d never be caught dead not taking a shower daily or wearing the same clothes twice in a row. He would have rather died than not get clothes to match the season. In fact he didn’t even remember the last time he bought himself clothes. It was all about Kaori. She was number one. People told him that he needed to take care of himself to be the best mom he could be, but how could he do that when she needed so much? When he had to choose between doing something for himself and doing something for her, Kaori was always the answer. He’d even starve if it meant she had food. During a particularly difficult point in his life, Kaori had weaned already, and they didn’t have much food. He let her eat, and he’d eat what she left. It was nothing substantial, but he made do. Because that’s what a mom did. 

“Mommy?” 

Kaori walked into the room rubbing her eye while she held her teddy bear under her other arm. Hajime had won that bear for Tooru at the New Year festival one year. Tooru had treasured it. Kaori had it since she was born. A gift from her dad. That’s how he liked to think of it. He remembered telling her about it when she was an infant. He’d held her in his arms in the hospital and showed it to her. He was so sore and tired, but he wanted her to have it. Hajime might not want to be a dad, but he was her father. To Tooru, those things were different. He wanted her to have a part of him even if she would never know past being a few hours old. 

“Good morning, baby,” Tooru smiled, putting the bookmark in the book and setting it aside. 

Kaori climbed in his lap and cuddled with him. She played with his shirt absently. He hugged her tight. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Good! My tummy feels better.” 

“I’m glad.” 

“I miss Joji.” 

There it was. Tooru sighed. That definitely meant going to the park today. He’d need to message the man back. He remembered the first time he’d met her father and his jaw had hit the floor at seeing his old rival. But they’d struck up a friendship just the same. It was interesting how much they actually were able to talk these days. He knew everything that happened with Hajime and Kaori. How much life had changed. How Tooru almost lost all his friends, and how Takahiro was teetering on the edge, he could feel it. But the alpha never wavered in his friendship. He never judged Tooru. He always listened in a kind manner, and only gave advice when Tooru asked. It was a far cry from what Tooru had expected him to be like. 

“Do you feel up to going to the park?” Tooru asked practically dying inside at the thought of having to actually human today. 

“Yeah! Can I wear my new princess shoes?” 

“Yes.” 

“And my Belle dress?” 

“Mhm.” Tooru pulled her close. “But Mommy still gets morning cuddles.” 

“I love them!” Kaori beamed up at him and cuddled closer to her mother. 

Tooru scented her until he was satisfied. That was one of his favorite things to do. Just rub his scent all over her until she just smelled like him. He’d think about how interesting scents were, and how his mind always trailed to Hajime. To everyone, he smelled differently. To cubs, their mothers smelled like warm milk and honey. That was universal. To omegas, Tooru smelled like a meadow. Hajime told him that he smelled like cinnamon and vanilla, a proper chai latte. Mattsun had said the same. To himself, he smelled warmth. That was it. 

He often wondered how the alphas at work thought about how he smelled, and shuddered. Hajime said it drove him absolutely crazy. There were times Hajime would bury his nose in Tooru’s scent gland before he’d throw Tooru on his back and fuck him hard. In those moments, Hajime’s scent was like more musty than his usual scent of pine and the outdoors. The memories flooded his head. Hajime had a high sex drive, and Tooru was more than willing to oblige. Hajime wanted to do things with Tooru that he really wasn’t into beyond his heats like using handcuffs and teasing him. When he was in heat, he’d do anything his alpha wanted. Hajime took a strange sick pleasure in teasing Tooru. He’d take his time giving Tooru oral. He said he liked the way he tasted in heat. He’d go back and forth between Tooru’s vagina and anus. He’d fuck Tooru’s ass when all Tooru wanted during his heats was a dick in his vagina. Hajime would laugh until he finally obliged, when Tooru was starting to be so desperate, when the fire was almost too much to take. 

Tooru’s last heat with Hajime, the one where he got pregnant, the condom had slipped off. Hajime had pulled away to get another, but Tooru started sobbing and begging him to just fuck him. It hurt. It all hurt so much. His body ached for him. That was the moment Kaori had been conceived. Tooru had begged for it. And he’d gotten it. And now he spent heats alone, sobbing and begging for any alpha to take his pain away. He wished someone would hear him one day. Six years. 

“Mommy?” 

Tooru broke away from his thoughts. He felt so wrong thinking about all of that with his daughter in his arms. He hadn’t meant to. His mind just went there. 

“Why are you crying?” 

“Huh? I’m not crying.” 

“You are.” Kaori sat up and wiped the tears off his face that he hadn’t even realized were there. “It’s okay, Mommy, I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” 

Tooru made pancakes while his daughter watched Beauty and the Beast. He was playing it in German today. Kaori thought it sounded silly, so she kept giggling from the living room where she was sitting hugging her bear in her pajamas. He watched her while he waited for the time to flip the pancakes. She was so small, so sweet, so innocent. He’d wanted to protect her from the world. He had tried so hard for her to not even think of not having a dad. And things had worked. But now Hajime was in his life again. He was asking questions. Getting too close. Tooru didn’t know what to do. Frankly, alphas terrified him these days. 

They’d terrified him since he was twenty-six weeks pregnant, and it was obvious he was carrying a child. When they didn’t see a bond mark, they’d touch him and say lewd things to him. They got him fired from several jobs when he wouldn’t accept their advances. He’d been so abused by them. They could tell he’d had a baby. How, he wasn’t sure, but they knew. They talked about filling him up again. Alphas were at the top in this society. They got what they wanted. Omegas were objects in so many of their eyes. Tooru had known that since he was young. He always had to fight tooth and nail to get where he was. He couldn’t make friends with anyone because he couldn’t look weak. The only time he felt safe was with his daughter in his arms. When she’d been born, and he saw she was an alpha, he wept with tears of relief, relief that she’d never experience this. 

Tooru flipped the pancake over. 

Hajime had been different. He had qualities every alpha did. The need to be in control, the possessiveness he had toward Tooru. He had kept tabs on Tooru. It was all things that were in his nature, things Hajime worked so hard to control. He was kind. He was vulnerable. He’d cuddle up on Tooru and tell him about his day while Tooru played with his hair. He was gentle. Tooru missed him so much. 

He stared at Kaori. 

His hands trembled as he plated the pancakes. He loved Kaori more than anything else in the world, but he wanted Hajime just as much. And now he was back. 

*****

Hajime stretched as he got ready for his run. He used to run every day, but this new job had him working until all hours. He needed to get steam off his chest. Issei had suggested a new park. He said it was a good change of scenery. Maybe his run would go better. Hajime had been doubtful, but this place was beautiful. There were so many trees. He missed trees. Back home there were more trees. He used to run through them growing up. He, Tooru, Issei, and Takahiro would run every morning through the dense woods. He missed it. The air was so much fresher back home. Tokyo was full of smog and car exhaust. This park felt fresher somehow. 

He put his earphones in and started his run. He focused all his frustration into that run. He pictured Tooru leaving his memories and his thoughts each time his foot hit the gravel of the trail. He focused on form. He timed his breathing perfectly with his body. All of his muscles worked in sync. He turned a corner and stopped dead in his tracks. 

Tooru was kneeling in front of a bench. There was a small child in front of him. Tooru was zipping up her jacket with all the love and tenderness of a mom. Another kid raced through and the child in front of Tooru ran after him. Tooru stood up and watched them go, hugging himself. Hajime could see his smile. His stomach hit the floor when he saw none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi appear at his side. Tooru beamed at him. They hugged, and the alpha handed Tooru a coffee and a small white bag. The two sat down, and started talking. 

Hajime’s blood boiled. He could hear it rushing through his ears until that was all he could hear. He had tunnel vision. 

Ushijima. The same Ushijima that Tooru had hated with a passion for years. The same Ushijima who Tooru trashed every chance he could get. The same Ushijima who had become enemy number one. 

That was his alpha. 

The alpha set his own cup down and headed toward the restrooms. Hajime took his chance. He rushed toward Tooru. 

“Oi, Shittykawa!” 

The omega jumped, and turned at his old nickname. Hajime could see him go on high alert. His head snapped toward the playground. Hajime could smell the fear radiating off of him, but he didn’t care. He stormed over. He shook his head at Tooru who was wrapping his arms tightly across his chest, his eyes still on the playground. 

“Not now, Hajime. Please.” 

“No. No, you don’t get to call me by my first name.” 

“Please. I have my little girl. Just-” 

Hajime laughed. “That kid, that kid, you said is almost six. That means you got pregnant when we were still dating or shortly after. You cheated on me.” 

“I didn’t-” 

“With Ushijima?” 

“No, I-”

“You are an utter piece of shit, you know that? I used to joke about how you were a shitty ass person, but I never thought I’d be right. You either cheated on me with him or you got over me real quick.” 

“Hajime, please let go of me.” 

Tooru’s voice was trembling. Tears were in his eyes. Hajime hadn’t even realized he was holding the omega by the arm. The air was thick with the disgusting scent of fear. Hajime dropped his arm and took a few steps back. He shook his head at Tooru. 

“I loved you. You know, that’s the worst fucking part in all of this. I loved you, and you do this shit.” Hajime could barely see through his tears. 

“I loved you too. I still do.”

“So you’re gonna cheat on your alpha a second time. I never pegged you for a slut.” 

“Look, we can talk later, just please, please not in front of my daughter.” 

“Which one is she?” Hajime stepped around Tooru to scan the playground. 

Tooru stepped in front of him. His eyes flashed. His scent had changed from fear to something else. 

“I suggest you leave, Iwaizumi, before you do something you regret. Because if you go near my daughter, I will end you.” 

“Is everything okay?” a deep voice asked. 

Hajime turned toward Ushijima. “Oh, well if it isn’t you. I knew you were obsessed with him, but I had no idea you’d steal him.” 

“Steal him? I am not sure what you mean.” 

“He was mine,” Hajime growled. 

“I think there has been a misunderstanding.” 

“Tooru was my omega! We were happy! You fucked it up.” 

Ushijima put his hands on Hajime’s shoulders. “You have it all wrong. We’re merely friends. I am married and mated to the most amazing omega in the world. We have a son about the age as Tooru’s daughter. They’re friends.” 

Hajime’s stomach churned at the way Tooru’s name sounded coming from the alpha’s mouth. He sounded foreign, like it wasn’t supposed to be there. 

“And you would do better to not be grabbing anyone like that. You look like you’re about to kill him. And I was able to smell the fear in the bathroom. What is wrong with you?” 

“Then who’s Tooru’s alpha?” 

Ushijima just stared at him for a moment. “I think it’s time for you to go home. Your behavior is inappropriate.” 

Hajime glared at him. “Inappropriate? What’s inappropriate is that Tooru cheated on me!” 

“Why would he do that? Were you acting like this? Treating him like your property and not a person?” Ushijima narrowed his eyes. 

“No. Of course not. I wouldn’t do that. I love him.” 

“Why do you think he cheated on you?” 

“Because I overheard him say that his daughter was almost six and he left me six years ago!” Hajime’s chest heaved with hurt and anger. 

“What was the last thing you talked about?” 

“I don’t know. He was talking about something ridiculous. Like he wanted a kid or something.” 

“And you think he cheated on you?” 

“Well...what other explanation is there.” 

Ushijima stared at him before shaking his head. “I have to go. Remember you’re being awful. It’s unbecoming. You especially do not treat omegas in that manner.” The alpha stepped past him, and walked away. 

*****

Tooru held his daughter tight, sobbing, unable to catch his breath. He’d never been scared of Hajime. Ever. But in that moment, his eyes were lit on fire. He looked like he was ready to hit him at any moment. His grip was so tight on Tooru’s arm, he was sure it was going to bruise. And when he’d taken the step toward the kids…

“Tooru, it’s okay.” Ushijima hugged him. “You’re safe.” 

“Can you take her? I...I need...I need to be alone for a little bit, okay?” 

Ushijima nodded and ushered Kaori and his son toward their car. Kaori stared at Tooru for a moment before getting engrossed in something Joji was saying. Tooru watched them get in the car, and only when he felt like Kaori was safe, did Tooru move. 

They needed to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! Please leave a comment. And don't worry, Hajime's gonna stop being rude soon. He's just salty/bitter/hurt and acting in an unhealthy way. :(


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay a fast update! I got in the mood and the weather was blah, so HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

“You did what?” Issei stared at Hajime with narrowed eyes. “What the hell?” 

“I don’t even know what happened. It was like I was watching myself from outside my body. I didn’t know how to stop myself, or even if I wanted to. I was so angry, so hurt. That kid...I saw her briefly, and if only I’d seen her more clearly, then maybe I wouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, but it was Ushijima! Ushijima! Tooru hugged Ushijima!” 

Takahiro scoffed from the kitchen where he was washing the dishes. Hiroki was down for the night. The tiny omega had had a hard day with Mommy at the park. Takahiro hadn’t even wanted to host dinner, but Issei had told Hajime he could come over. Takahiro refused to let either of them into the kitchen while he worked, muttering how they’d just get in his way. Sometimes the man didn’t make sense. Just for the love of god accept the help, or don’t ask for it in the first place. 

“I don’t give a fuck who it is. You don’t go around yelling at people! He didn’t do anything wrong taking his kid to the park. And you know as fucked up as it was that he left, he wouldn’t cheat on you. He’s not the type to do that.” 

“So then tell me how he has a kid who’s almost six?” 

Hajime stared at Issei who stared back at him. Something flashed in Issei’s eyes. He glanced up at his husband who raised his eyebrows with a smirk, then back to Hajime. 

“Shit…” Issei whispered. “Um, hey man…” Issei licked his lips. “You said Tooru was sick before he left?” 

“Yeah?” Hajime blinked. 

“For how long?” 

“I don’t know. A month or more.” Hajime glanced at Takahiro who was holding a sponge against the plate he was watching, unmoving.

“And did he say anything weird to you?” 

“I mean, he told me what he had wasn’t contagious and kept bringing up having a kid. We’d agreed no kids. That’s why I thought he left. Maybe he wanted one.” Hajime shrugged and took a sip of the tea Takahiro had served him, ever the amazing host. 

“And then he left.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Hiro, babe, come here.” 

He put the plate down, pulled off his rubber gloves, and went to Issei. Issei hugged the omega who curled up into him. 

“Clingy?” Issei asked. 

“Yeah. Nesting constantly too.” 

“How long were you sick for with each of your pregnancies, Takahiro?” 

“Three months with Hiroki. Two with this one.” 

Issei and Takahiro stared at Hajime. They didn’t say anything, just stared. Hajime shifted uncomfortably. Their stares didn’t waver. Takahiro bit his lips. Issei didn’t move. 

“What?” 

“Are you really that dumb?” 

“What?”

“Issei, no,” Takahiro protested. “No. Please.” 

Issei closed his mouth, and set his hand gently on his husband’s swollen stomach. Hajime watched the gesture. Issei pressed a kiss to Takahiro’s head. 

“I think it’s time for us to sleep. Have a good night, Hajime.” 

*****

Tooru scoured the internet for new jobs rather than work on the work that was piling up on his desk. He needed to move from Tokyo immediately. He’d never seen Hajime that furious. He grew up with him. They knew each other from the time they were in diapers until six years ago, and never once had he seen him like he had at the park. Just as Tooru had suspected, he had a hand-shaped bruise on his arm from where the alpha had grabbed him. He remembered Hajime’s face, how he seemed confused as well by the fact he’d grabbed him. He didn’t know what he would have done to Kaori. You weren’t predictable when you were that angry. Kaori was so innocent. She didn’t deserve to be put through anything bad. She didn’t need to know Hajime even existed. Tooru had to keep her safe even if it meant running from his dream. He didn’t mind teaching. He’d worked through grad school as a TA. He would do whatever he had to do to keep his daughter safe. 

He jumped at the sound of a knock at his door. Keiji was standing there holding his lunch. He was showing now. A cute little bump. The way he was holding the bento made it more obvious. It made Tooru smile. A sweet little baby in the oven. It was the safest that baby would ever be. It was the one place a mother could protect their child. He hadn’t seen Takahiro or heard from him since their little spat though Tooru had tried. Ushiwaka was picking Kaori up from school now. Takahiro told him he wasn’t feeling well. Tooru just wanted to make sure he was okay. 

“Hi,” Tooru said trying to have a cheerful tone in his voice.

“Hi. Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” Tooru forced a smile. “I’ll go get my lunch.” 

Keiji nodded and sat down on a chair in Tooru’s office. Tooru’s eyes scanned the hall as he walked to the breakroom. He and Keiji had been eating lunch sooner in the day since Keiji was now getting hungrier sooner. Tooru was glad his appetite was back. Tooru hadn’t been able to eat anything substantial until his second trimester. At least Keiji was doing better. It was probably because he didn’t have the added stress, and there was no way Koutaro was letting Keiji not eat. He was a chef after all, and he wanted his husband to have only the best. Tooru envied him in a way. 

Tooru breathed a sigh of relief when he found the breakroom empty. He opened the refrigerator and found that his lunch wasn’t where it had been. He dug through the fridge trying to find it as his stomach growled. Tears welled in his eyes when he realized it had been thrown away. It wasn’t the first time. It wasn’t like people particularly liked him at work. He had to be assertive and not let any alpha to think he wasn’t competent. He had his lunch thrown out often. But today was not a day. He sat down and buried his face in his hands. It was like his life was falling apart. He wanted to crumble in on himself. 

The door opened, and he quickly pulled himself together. He smoothed his jacket, and began to make his way to the bathroom. He ran smack dab into Hajime. Tooru’s breath hitched. He backed away, and stared at the door. Hajime was blocking him from it. He tried to figure out if he could dart around him. 

“Hey, um, I wanted to apologize for scaring you at the park. I just got so angry and jumped to conclusions. I’m sorry I acted like such an ass.” 

Tooru stared at him. Hajime really did look genuinely sorry. He was avoiding eye contact and rubbing the back of his neck, a nervous habit. Tooru didn’t say anything. He still was sizing up how to get out of the breakroom. 

“I just...it doesn’t make sense. I just keep thinking about why you left. We were having a good time. I thought…” The alpha trailed off. 

“I just want to go back to my office,” Tooru whispered. 

“Why were you crying?”

Tooru stared at him. “Someone threw away my lunch.” 

He wasn’t sure why he’d told him the truth, but suddenly he couldn’t stop. 

“It’s not like it’s the first time. I just feel like I have to work twice as hard here, you know? Because I’m an omega. And I hate having to prove myself. I just wish for once I could just let my guard down because I haven’t been able to in so long. I have to always have this wall up because if I don’t...I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

“Can’t you just call your alpha?” 

Tooru let out a soft laugh. “No.” 

“You can have mine.” 

“What?” 

“It’s just some plain rice with mango, and an egg roll, but it’s better than nothing.” 

Tooru stood stone still as Hajime dug through the bags, and handed him a brown paper bag. Tooru stared at it for a moment before looking back at Hajime. 

“Why?” Tooru whispered. 

“Just think of it as an apology gift.” Hajime offered a smile. “I really am sorry. I was out of my head. I let my anger get the best of me. Really, take it.” 

Tooru chewed his lip. He wasn’t sure what to do. He just wanted to go back to his office. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” 

“I can’t.”

“Right, your alpha would be mad.” 

“Can you stop with that?” Tooru whispered. “I don’t have an alpha.” 

“What?” Hajime blinked at him. “What do you mean? You have a kid.” 

“So?” Tooru stared at him. 

“What about her father?” 

Tooru felt like he was stabbed in the heart. He was staring at Kaori’s father. Just looking at him, he could tell all the parts of him were part of Kaori. The way his mouth pulled to the side when he was nervous. His eyes. His lips. 

“He doesn’t want to be part of her life,” Tooru said gently. 

Surprise flashed across Hajime’s face for just a second. “So you’re raising her by yourself? Are you at least getting child support from that asshole?” 

“No.” Tooru’s heart started to shatter. “Because he doesn’t know.” 

“What?” Hajime narrowed his eyes. “Tooru, why didn’t you tell him?” 

“I tried. He doesn’t want kids. He shuddered at the thought of being a dad. But more than anything, because he’d do the right things.” Tooru brushed tears from his eyes. “And I don’t want my little girl to ever feel unloved or unwanted. So I raise her on my own. Because I love her. And she doesn’t have a dad because he didn’t want her.” 

“Tooru…” Hajime breathed. 

“Can I please go back to my office now? Or am I still your property.” 

“Yeah. I mean no. I mean, you can go, but please, take my lunch.” 

Tooru stared at it for a moment. His stomach ached. He wouldn’t be able to make it until late. He took it and offered a gentle thanks to Hajime before walking out of the room and safely going to his office. 

*****

Hajime couldn’t get that encounter out of his head. Tooru had still looked so scared of him. He hated that. He hated the fact that he’d let his anger get the best of him. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair, not to Tooru. He didn’t deserve it, really and truly he didn’t. It was Hajime who was hung up on it in the first place. It had been six years. That was enough time to get over it. Tooru wasn’t his boyfriend anymore. He could do what he wanted whether Hajime like it or not.

He took a long drag from a cigarette, and tossed the embers into the wind. He didn’t usually smoke. It was so rare. But on nights where he couldn’t calm himself with alcohol or running, this is what he did. Tooru had always given the look before, and refused to kiss him after until he brushed his teeth, but he’d usually give him the silent treatment on top of it. What would Tooru say now? What would he say if he knew that him being back in his life had him spiraling? 

Maybe Hajime should just find a new job. It wasn’t like he really liked his job. It was just that, a job. That way they could both be at peace because it clearly wasn’t good for either of them to work together. Tooru was clearly uncomfortable, and it was tearing Hajime apart. He had entered Tooru’s world. That had never been his dream. Hajime like machines. He loved growing up working on cars with his dad, and he loved working at the shop when he was old enough. Even more than fixing them, Hajime wanted to make them. He wanted to do the design, and all of that. There was so much that went into it. Why was he working at JAXA in the first place? 

Tooru, Tooru on the other hand had dreamed that dream since they were kids. He loved everything that had to do with space. He wanted to be an astronaut, but his eyesight wasn’t good enough, and omegas were never astronauts. But he tried. He loved the stars and the stories about them. He loved the planets. And he loved every goddamn conspiracy that had to do with space. JAXA was Tooru’s space. He shouldn’t feel uncomfortable. 

Hajime watched the embers burn on the cigarette for a moment before snuffed it out. He leaned on the rail of the balcony at the bustling city beneath him. He was going to start looking for a new job tomorrow, or maybe even just quit all together and go back to the shop with his dad. He loved that, enjoyed it. He didn’t have much he looked forward to nowadays, but the weekends he spent helping out in the shop was everything. He smiled there, real smiles. He talked to his dad about life, about his dreams. His dad would always look at him with a sort of sad look, so would his mother when they had lunch. He never understood it. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t with Tooru anymore. Their families had always been close. It was only natural that they hoped they’d end up together. 

And they knew Tooru’s kid. 

*****

“You shouldn’t be the one quitting your job,” Ushiwaka told Tooru as he moved the meat to a plate. 

Shirabu was tending to setting the table. The giggles of the kids could be heard down the hall. For once Tooru could enjoy a setting where Beauty and the Beast wasn’t playing. That’s how it was when he was at the Ushijima’s home. They didn’t even have a television. Shirabu was a child psychologist and was adamant that Joji have very limited screen time as it could affect brain growth. He didn’t judge Tooru one bit for allowing his daughter to watch movies. This was just their parenting style. 

“Yeah, Wakatoshi’s right. You were there first. If I were you, I’d report him to HR. Tell them you don’t feel safe working there with him. Explain the encounter. I’m sure your boss will take the appropriate actions.” 

Tooru swished the wine around in his glass. They were right, but part of Tooru just wanted to be done with it all. He was tired of having to mentally prepare himself to walk into a room full of alphas who were judging him for simply being there. Keiji blended in with the other engineers. He barely said a word, but that wasn’t Tooru. He needed everyone to understand he belonged there. Quite frankly it was starting to get exhausting. And the tactics his coworkers stooped to were starting to wear him down. They wanted him to quit since he started, but Tooru had refused. He was not going to back down. But now? Now he was just over it. Over trying so hard, over crying about it. He was just tired. 

“He apologized. In the breakroom, he apologized.” Tooru glanced at his friends. 

“That doesn’t make it okay. He’s been badgering you since he started that job, Tooru. I think it’s time you reported it. You don’t deserve to be treated in that manner.” Shirabu frowned at him. 

“It’s not that. It’s everything. I’m just...it’s all wearing on me. Everything. They clearly don’t want me there. They sneer at me. They mock me. I get my lunch either thrown out or tampered with at least once a month. Now this? I can’t handle it. And if I get a teaching position or work at a museum, I have more time to raise my daughter.” 

Tooru finished off his drink. He set the glass down. His friends exchanged a look. 

“This is your choice, Tooru. Be sure it’s the one you want to make,” Ushiwaka stated before setting the food on the table and calling for the kids to come down. 

Tooru helped Kaori get her plate made before sitting down himself. She interrupted his meal a million times trying to get help with various things. He was trying so hard to make her stay at the table and eat. She wanted to play. Joji wanted to play. They kept looking at each other across the table and opening their mouths. Tooru eventually gave up. Right now he was too tired to care. While he loved his daughter, he was ready for the weekend alone. 

*****

Hajime perked up when he smelled it. That strong, spicy cinnamon. Tooru walked by the desk hugging his coat tight over his scent glands as his eyes darted around the room. Tooru was close to heat. All the alphas were instinctively staring at him. Keiji cleared his throat to pull the alphas’ attention away. Hajime didn’t want his attention pulled away. He wanted to breathe it in. He wanted to lock Tooru in his office and have his way with him the way he did since Tooru’s first heat. 

That had been so awkward the way Tooru stared at him with wide, scared eyes as his body took control. He’d whimpered and clung to Hajime. They were close to home. He had asked Hajime to help him. That was all Hajime remembered. But every single one of Tooru’s heats they spent together, Hajime had to fight every urge in his body to claim the omega as his own. Tooru always whispered, “please no,” when Hajime’s fangs brushed the sensitive area. It had driven Hajime crazy. Why? Why didn’t Tooru want to be his? Tooru wanted to wait until he was older. He wanted to be sure. Because Tooru told him what Hajime already knew. 

No alpha would take a marked omega. 

Hajime cleared his throat and tried to get to work, but everything in him screamed for more. It screamed at him to take the omega. He knew every unmated alpha in the vicinity was thinking the same thing. He unconsciously let out a low growl. 

“You good?” 

Hajime glanced at his coworker. The man’s eyes were subdued. Once an alpha bonded, they weren’t as susceptible to omegas in heat. There was still their nature, but it was so much lower. It was interesting how nature was. Their own omegas drove them up a wall though. 

Hajime nodded his head. “Just distracted.” 

“Go get some water to cool down, I know how good he smells.” 

“No, no, I better not.” 

Hajime wasn’t sure he could keep himself from storming into Tooru’s room. He missed him. God he missed him. He knew every millimeter of the omega. He knew how to turn him into a sobbing mess. He knew how to take him down a notch, and he took pride in the fact that he could tear every one of Tooru’s walls down. Tooru always said it was sadistic, but he’d say it with the sweetest smile on his face while he looked at him through his eyelashes. They’d always cuddle after, always. Tooru felt so safe against his alpha. He’d told him so so many times. He’d run his fingertips over the muscle lines in Hajime’s chest, or play with his shirt if he was wearing one. He only agreed to things like that during his heat. Off of those times it was vanilla as hell. It would be boring to Hajime if it was anyone other than Tooru. 

Tooru practically ran out of his office, and raced to the lobby. It was here. 

*****

Tooru tried to keep it together. He hugged himself so hard he was sure he’d break. He knew his heat was close. He knew. But it wasn’t expecting it to hit so suddenly. Maybe being around a room full of alphas had triggered it. He could feel the slick sliding out of him. He pressed the button of the elevator a million times, his eyes darting everywhere. He didn’t want to be taken. His body did, but he didn’t. Tears were burning in his eyes. 

“Come on. Come on.” 

“You okay?” 

Tooru froze at the voice. He closed his eyes. His body started to tremble. Hajime was the last person he wanted to encounter. He swallowed hard. 

“Go away,” Tooru whined. His body twitched. 

“Do you want me to walk you home? I promise I-”

“No!” Tooru shouted. “Get back. I swear to god, I will have you fired if you take one more step.” 

“I’m not going to hurt you. I just figured…” 

“Ushiwaka is picking me up, thank you. He’s married and bonded. He’s my friend. He’s safe. I’m fine.” 

Tooru tried his best to stand strong. He tried to fight with everything in him not to run to the alpha, to jump on him and fuck him right then and there while everyone watched. Because it had been six years since he’d spent a heat with an alpha. Six years his body had screamed for release. Six years Tooru endured the pain of it all. 

“You’re sure?” Hajime stared at him. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.” 

Tooru straightened his body and stared at Hajime. He turned toward him and took a few steps towards him. 

“You don’t care. You just don’t want another alpha touching me because you still see me as your property.” 

“I-”

The elevator opened, and Tooru ran in. He watched the doors close on the alpha who stared at him with pain and worry written all over his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read. Please leave a comment!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus mini update! It's short which I hate, but my beta and I just thought it was best for this to be stand alone. Enjoy! <3

Hajime hadn’t seen Tooru at work in almost a week. He wondered how he was doing. He wondered _who_ he was doing because omegas didn’t spend heats alone. That was just a fact. He’d never heard of one who did. He didn’t even know if it was safe. His grandfather always told him that omegas, by nature, were whores. They would fuck any alpha that came close. Hajime didn’t think that was true. He hadn’t seen Tooru or Takahiro or any other omega he’d ever known do that. He saw them scared, terrified of every alpha around them. He wasn’t sure why. He’d never seen Tooru stare at him like that. The image of how torn and desperate the omega looked was burned into his mind. 

He walked through the aisles of the store aimlessly. That’s how it was now. Aimlessly wandering, his head filled with thoughts of Tooru. He missed him. More than anything, more than ever. He missed the way he’d curl up on the couch to read a book, his mouth moving ever so slightly when he got to a good part. He missed the way he’d tease him about the way he made his coffee with far too much cream, and enough sugar to be up for days. Tooru loved dancing in the kitchen to nothing at all. His laugh was infectious. The scowl he made when he was contemplating something he refused to tell Hajime about. He missed how the omega was constantly stealing his clothes. He missed how he’d hold the blanket over his head and body to keep warm just like a child. Tooru liked scary movies, but was always scared of them. He wouldn’t sleep all night. 

He missed Tooru. Everything about him. Even the parts he used to get annoyed with like when he’d leave every light on in the house, or when he’d be petty as hell. Everything. 

“Mommy, I want the cereal with marshmallows!” 

A small girl ran into the aisle. Hajime glanced at her. She had her black hair braided into two pigtails with a ribbon. He was adorable. He smiled. He loved other people’s kids. They were cute and fun. He just couldn’t be a father. It made him sick. The little girl skipped through the aisle looking for the specific cereal she wanted. 

“Don’t run off, Kaori.” The mother’s voice. Tooru’s voice. 

The little girl stopped in her tracks when she saw Hajime. He stared at her for a moment. She looked so much like Tooru, so much. But her features were sharper, more angular. Her eyes were more narrow than Tooru’s, though they were just as intense. And her eyes were a golden hazel. 

“Kaori, I said don’t run off!” Tooru snapped as he appeared in the aisle. 

He froze for only a moment. His eyes flashed to his daughter. Hajime glanced at Tooru. And suddenly the omega was scooping up his daughter who protested that she wanted the cereal. Just like that he was gone. 

Hajime rolled his eyes. He wasn’t going to hurt her. He wasn’t going to do anything at all. Tooru was being dramatic, overprotective. He grabbed some cereal bars and threw them in the bag without looking at what is was, and left the aisle with a nagging feeling that something wasn’t right. 

*****

“You should tell him,” Takahiro said with an eye roll. 

“I can’t!”

“Why Tooru? Why? Because you’re scared he’ll do the right thing? Because he will. You know he will.” 

Takahiro set a plate with a pastry in front of Tooru. 

“Yes!” 

“You know I think you’re the only omega in the world that is afraid of having a kind, supportive alpha. You know he was one of the good ones. He loved you so much. Still does. And you push him away then wallow in self pity. I’m too pregnant for this.” 

“He doesn’t want kids. It’s better this way.” 

Tooru picked at the pastry. Takahiro didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand because him and Issei always wanted kids. It was always in their plans. They tried for so long for Hiroki, and then started again for the next one Takahiro’s next heat after giving birth which Tooru found absolutely appalling. But that was what they wanted, so he supported them. 

Issei leaned against the wall, staring him down while their son chewed on his teddy bear. Tooru had been so hesitant when Takahiro had invited him over saying Issei wanted to him, that he knew. Yet the alpha hadn’t said one word since Tooru had been there. Takahiro was being the perfect host even with Hiroki running around. It was nice to see that the two seemed to finally be getting along a bit better. Takahiro had told him as much. Still Tooru was a bit wary. 

“You know what I think?” Issei said finally breaking his silence. “I think you’re selfish as hell, just like you’ve always been. But you’re selfish in this way where you pretend you’re thinking about others.” 

Tooru winced at the allegation. He covered his face and ran his hands through his hair. Hot pricks of tears threatened him. He wasn’t. He really wasn’t. Hajime was happier this way. This way he daughter was loved and wanted. 

“Issei,” Takahiro warned. 

“I’m just being honest.” Issei turned his attention back to Tooru. “Do you honestly think he wouldn’t love that kid to death? You saw how he was with Takeru, with other kids. He loves them. He eats them up.” 

“It’d ruin his life,” Tooru whispered. “And he said we’d break up.” 

“And you didn’t give him the chance to break up with you himself. You didn’t give him the chance to make his own choice. That’s _his_ kid, Tooru. And you’re keeping that from him. And yeah, maybe he would have walked away. But he might have stayed. And you wouldn’t be a single mom struggling to keep it together, and he wouldn’t be on the verge of alcoholism and jumping off a building.” 

“What?” 

Tooru straightened up. He stared at Issei with wide eyes. Hajime was supposed to be happier this way. 

“Yeah, you left him and he doesn’t know why. He can’t get over you. He talks about you all the time. He tries to hate you, but he can’t. I don’t blame him. But you just sit there on your high horse and make him feel like shit. You make him out to be the bad guy, when he in fact, is not.”

“I…” 

Tooru didn’t know what to say, what to think. Issei could be lying. Hajime wasn’t acting like himself, sure, but he wasn’t being kind either. He wasn’t acting like someone who wanted to know the truth. He wasn’t acting like he loved him. Hajime was acting like an asshole. He was worse than that. He was threatening him. Tooru was genuinely afraid of him now, of what he might do. How could he tell him?

“Look, I’m sorry I hated you and talked so much shit. But god, Tooru, fuck you’re so awful.” 

Takahiro turned toward Issei and stared at him long and hard. He took a few steps towards him, and took Hiroki out of his arms before leaving the room. Tooru watched him leave, wanting nothing more than to ask him to come back, but he knew he didn’t want their son in the middle of this. Tooru understood that. He was a mother himself and he’d protect Kaori until the end of time. 

“I did what I thought was right,” Tooru whispered. “And maybe I didn’t get it right, but I wasn’t being selfish.” 

“Please, tell him. Tell him, or I will.” 

With that, Issei disappeared to go find Takahiro. Tooru broke down. His whole world was falling apart. He didn’t want to hurt Kaori. He didn’t want to hurt Hajime. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. But that’s all this did, didn’t it? Takahiro was in the middle, stressed beyond belief while being heavily pregnant. He had a month to go. He didn’t need an early labor. He didn’t need that. He was hurting his best friend. And Hajime...he hadn’t known how bad it was. He had always imagined that Hajime was enjoying himself. 

But he couldn’t tell him. 

And he knew Issei’s threat was true.

*****

Hajime stared at the photos on Takahiro’s phone that Issei had stolen. There was a nagging feeling in his gut since he’d seen Tooru’s daughter two weeks. Issei insisted they look through photos. She was a beautiful little girl. She seemed so happy. Tooru looked at her with such in such an adoring way. They were good together. Tooru looked good. Motherhood suited him. Hajime was genuinely happy that he had been able to have a child. Maybe Tooru would have been happy with their agreement, but he could have been heartbroken. 

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be seeing,” Hajime muttered throwing the phone back to his friend. 

“Are you looking at her, or are you looking at Tooru?” Issei smirked. 

“Issei…” Hajime rolled his eyes. 

“Here.” 

Issei scrolled through the phone and handed it back to him. It was a picture of Tooru’s daughter...again. It was close up. She stared at the camera with Tooru’s award winning smile, only hers was very much real. Her skin tone was darker than Tooru’s, a soft hint of bronze. He face was angular, high cheekbone, narrow eyes. Something about her was stirring something in him. 

“I don’t know. It’s like there’s something there, but, but I don’t know?” 

“Holy fucking shit!” Issei threw his head back. “She’s your daughter!” 

“What?” Hajime blinked at him. “No. No, that can’t be right.” 

“Well it is. Congratulations.” 

Hajime stared at the picture. His head was spinning and there wasn’t enough air in the room. He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. He felt sick. A wave of nausea had him running to the bathroom where he lost his lunch. Issei stood in the door. 

“That bad, huh?” 

“I don’t...we agreed…”

“No kids.” Issei’s lip twitched up into a smirk. He shook his head. “Well he got pregnant.” 

“What’s going on?” Takahiro asked, coming out of their room rubbing his eyes. 

“Hajime’s a daddy!” 

The sentence at Hajime heaving again. 

“Issei…” Takahiro whispered. “You promised.” 

“Well I guess I lied, just like you and Tooru.” Issei glared at him. “I’m the only one who give a shit about him around here. Move.” 

Issei brushed past Takahiro who took a few steps into the bathroom. He held his stomach and back as he crouched down. Hajime felt bad for making him do that in his condition. Takahiro could barely get off the sofa. His eyes shined with tears. He offered Hajime a smile.

“How are you feeling?” 

“I...I don’t know. Sick?” 

Takahiro nodded. “He knew you’d react like this. That’s why he didn’t tell you.” 

“How long have you known?” 

“Six years.” Takahiro smiled again. “I got to hold her when she was born. She’s incredible. I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I’m not. Tooru did the right thing in my opinion.” 

“Why?” 

“He did it out of love. He knew you didn’t want to be a father.” 

“I...I think I’m gonna go,” Hajime muttered. “I need some air.” 

“Okay. I’m gonna tell Tooru you know.” 

“Yeah sure.” 

Hajime stumbled out of the apartment in a daze. He needed a drink or ten. A father. 

He was a father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment please!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 2 more days in Montreal, but I had to get this out for y'all before I go out to explore more. Enjoy!

Tooru hugged his knees, and watched Kaori play with her toys. Everything was falling apart. He had been wanting to protect everyone. He didn’t want Hajime to be miserable. He didn’t want his daughter to feel unwanted. He thought of both of them before himself. Issei was wrong. He wasn’t selfish. If he was selfish, he’d be with Hajime. If he was selfish, he would have gotten the abortion so he could stay in his same happy life. If he was selfish he wouldn’t be hurting so much. He’d be thinking only of himself and what he wanted. He felt sick. Tonight Hajime would come over while Kaori was with the Ushijimas. She was going to have a nice time playing with Joji while Tooru shook their entire world. 

Takahiro had called him. Tooru knew something was wrong when he heard his voice even though he tried to start the conversation casual. He talked about his pregnancy and how over it he was. He talked about how much he wanted to meet his little pup, and how sweet he was going to be. Takahiro was scared to give birth again though. He elected to do homebirth with Hiroki. It had gone well, but the pain was unbearable. He was going to do it again though. He wanted to have as many of their kids they decided to have at home as he could. He claimed it was more peaceful. He chose it after seeing Tooru with an IV in his hand, and a strap wrapped around him to watch Kaori’s heartbeat. He had been in the room when Tooru broke and begged for an epidural after eighteen hours of labor. He’d seen them put the epidural in, and it scared him. He didn’t miss a chance to tell him about that. 

And then he dropped the bombshell. Issei had told Hajime the truth. 

Now he was trying to figure out just what to say. He never thought this day would come. He never expected to ever run into Hajime again. What would he say? What could he say? He’d made a choice six years ago, they’d made a choice six years ago. Tooru had been so angry with Hajime back in the beginning for ever not using a condom. When it slipped off, Hajime had stopped. He’d gone to get another one. Tooru had begged him not to only because he was in heat and Hajime had been teasing him. He was desperate. He was in pain. He wasn’t thinking right. Hajime was in the right mind. He promised he would pull out. He promised he wouldn’t knot him. It had been amazing feeling him cum inside him, giving Tooru’s body what it wanted. But Tooru freaked out about it. Hajime kept apologizing. 

And then a few weeks later, Tooru found out he was pregnant. 

The moment when he was feeling off, didn’t get a period, he was talking to Takahiro about it. He still remembered how nervously he shifted when he told Tooru he might be pregnant. Takahiro didn’t even look him in the eye, just stared at the floor. They went to the little corner store near Takahiro’s apartment. Tooru didn’t want to take it. He was scared, but his friend was there. Takahiro had pumped him up, and given him the courage to do it. He remembered them sitting on the bathroom floor together. Takahiro was trying to keep Tooru calm. And when the timer went off, Tooru didn’t want to look, so his friend did. Tooru could still hear the slight gasp, still see how Takahiro had looked at him. He knew. He knew. 

And then the morning sickness started. And he realized it was all the time sickness. He felt like shit all the time. He was exhausted. He could barely eat. Everything triggered him running to the bathroom to vomit. His doctor couldn’t give him anything to help with the vomiting until he was further along. Hajime took care of him. And the worst part is he couldn’t even tell him the truth because any time he brought up pregnancy or kids, Hajime would get mad. He’d snap at him or roll his eyes or threaten to break up with him. He hadn’t been ready to lose him. Not yet. Not when he was so scared. Not when he needed his alpha to hold him. But then, then he started to show, and he knew he couldn’t keep it going on any longer. 

It wasn’t an easy pregnancy. There were complications. They thought something might be wrong with his baby, and he blamed himself for being so sick. Labor was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He’d felt so guilty, so he decided no epidural. He should feel the pain because it was probably painful for Hajime to lose him. He thought if he could get past this, then so could he. But by hour eighteen when he was barely a five, he couldn’t do it anymore. His blood pressure was getting too high. He could feel his head about to explode. The lights hurt. So he got one. He felt like a failure. But when they set Kaori on his chest...it was all so worth it. Everything. 

“Mommy, do you think Joji will want to play Booty and the Beats with me?” 

Tooru brushed the hair out of his daughter’s face, and tried to smile. 

“Maybe. You’ll have to ask him.” 

“I gotta be Belle cuz I’m the girl.” Kaori had the most serious look on her face Tooru had ever seen any five year old have. 

“Boys can be beautiful too.” 

“Like Mommy!” Kaori beamed. “But Belle is a girl. I’m a girl. Joji is a boy. You’re so silly, Mommy.” 

“Oh, right. How could I forget?” 

“Mommy?” 

“Yes, baby?” 

“I wanna marry Joji. I love him. We’re gonna get married and have babies. I’m a alpha, and Joji is a mega, so that’s how it works.” 

“Is that right?” 

“Yeah. I learned it at school. My friend told me that’s what her big brother said.” 

“Since when did you decide you were gonna marry Joji?” 

Tooru thought about how it was so much like when he was little and proudly proclaimed he was gonna marry Iwa-chan. It was heading that way too. But some things aren’t always up to chance. 

“Since forever. I gave him a kiss on his cheek.” 

She giggled and scrunched up her shirt the way only little kids did. He pulled her into a tight hug, and kissed her head. He held her like he did so many times before. It was so comforting, yet so terrifying to be able to hold your entire life, heart, and soul in your arms. That was the scariest thing about being a mother. His heart was walking around outside of his body. He had to do the right things. He had to make sure not to mess up because she needed only the best. He loved her more than he loved anything in the world. That love when he’d first heard her heartbeat was a love he didn’t know existed. It was funny how you could love someone you hadn’t met yet so much. And the love he had after she was born...that was overwhelming. 

Tooru held her for a bit longer, listening to her tell him about her wedding to Joji and all their babies. Apparently they were going to have a bajillion babies and live in a castle. And they’d be a prince and princess. Tooru could live in the castle too, but he couldn’t stay in their room because that wasn’t a mommy room. 

He glanced at the clock. Shirabu would be picking Kaori up soon. Tooru scented his daughter, ignoring her annoyance. As she got older, she didn’t like it. He’d do it anyway. Nature took over. He needed his pup to smell like him. He needed to make sure she was safe because he wasn’t sure what she’d come home to. 

*****

Hajime took a deep breath before knocking on Tooru’s front door. He was a father. He’d been a father for six years. The weight was hitting him hard. It made him sick. His heart was pounding in his chest. He hadn’t even realized that Tooru knew, but Takahiro had told him Hajime had found out the truth. _I can talk to you at my apartment tomorrow night. Kaori will be with the Ushijimas._ The text was somehow burned into his mind as the letter Tooru had left him. He wiped the sweat off his hands onto his jeans and took another deep breath as he heard the door unlocking. 

Tooru stood in the doorway with a nervous expression on his face. His hair was messy, and he was wearing glasses. Hajime hadn’t seen him wear those since they were dating. He never wore them at work. He had on a baggy green sweater over a pair of black leggings and fuzzy slippers on. Hajime could only think of when they got ready for bed or were just lounging around the apartment. Tooru would always get comfy. He never looked cuter than those moments. 

Hajime cleared his throat. “May I come in?” 

Tooru nodded wordlessly as he stepped aside. Hajime entered the apartment. It was small, but cozy. The walls were painted a soft mint. The floors were wood. It smelled like food. There was a small black sofa sitting in the living room that was just in view of the front door. There was an entertainment center set up with a television and movies. 

“Do you want anything? Tea? Water? Are you hungry?” Tooru hugged himself. 

“No, no, I’m okay,” Hajime said in a far away voice. 

“Well I’m gonna get a glass of wine,” Tooru muttered before disappearing into the kitchen. 

Hajime sat down on the sofa, and looked around. Toys were scattered around the room. There were a couple square canvas buckets where the toys were supposed to be. The movies that lined the entertainment center were full of kids movies alongside the scifi that Tooru loved so much. Tooru was sentimental like that. He loved having a physical copy of his favorite movies because you never knew when streaming services would take them off. 

Tooru entered the room with a large glass of wine and sat down next to Hajime. “I’m sorry it’s a mess. Kaori…” 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” 

“I’m sorry,” Tooru whispered before clearing his throat and looking Hajime in the eye. He repeated the apology again, this time in a strong, even voice. 

“I’m the one who’s sorry.” 

They sat in silence for a moment. 

“I don’t know where to start,” Tooru said. 

“The beginning?” 

Tooru nodded. He looked around the living room before staring into his wine. He took a long gulp before focusing his attention on his feet. 

“I think it was that time you fucked me without a condom. I was on birth control, but you know it’s never one hundred percent. I started feeling off, and when my period didn’t come, I waited for a week before I took a test. I was really scared, beyond scared. I knew you didn’t want a kid. I was only nineteen. I didn’t know what I’d do. I didn’t have a job. I wasn’t finished with school. And, and I only told Makki because who else could I tell? And we went to the clinic. I was going to get an abortion, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I knew, I knew I needed to tell you, but I didn’t know how, so I kept asking what if questions because what else could I do? I loved this tiny being growing in me, and if you didn’t want her, then…” 

Tooru’s verbal diarrhea came to an abrupt halt. It was slightly jarring from how fast he’d been talking. He almost didn’t come up for air. Hajime remained silent. 

“And one day...one day I saw the bump. Just the slightest little bump. It was like if I’d eaten a big meal.” Tooru let out a shuddering breath. “And I knew, I knew I had to make a choice. So I asked you that night, what if I got pregnant. You almost sounded angry at the idea, so I knew. I didn’t sleep that night. I just cuddled with you. And I wr-” 

Tooru’s voice broke and he took a few deep breaths. Hajime saw the omega trembling. He wanted to pull him into a hug, but he couldn’t. He didn’t have permission. He’d lost that right. 

“I wrote that letter that night, and then I went back to cuddling you. I just wanted to remember everything about you. I wanted to memorize your heart and the way you breathed, that tiny snore you did before you moved position. I wanted to never forget how you smelled, or how safe I felt in your arms. And, and what I wanted more than anything was to kiss you one last time, but you wouldn’t let me” 

“I...I’m sorry.” 

“You left for work and I knew that was the last time I’d see you. I was fifteen weeks. Fifteen weeks was all I got with you. I packed up my things, and went to Makki’s apartment. I stayed there for a couple weeks before I went home to Sendai and told my parents. They were so disappointed in me. They told me so for months.. And I finished school online. I was determined. But it was a really, really hard pregnancy. I got sick. Around twenty weeks I ended up getting diagnosed with preeclampsia. It’s like this thing where your blood pressure is super high and you could have seizures if it got too high. And then it was gestational diabetes and I had to give myself insulin. And they told me there might be something wrong with Kaori. I lost my shit, Hajime. I couldn’t take it. If it hadn’t been for my mom, I don’t know how I could have done it. But she was healthy.” 

A smile danced on Tooru’s lips. 

“The labor was worse than anything I’d ever imagined. I was in labor over twenty-four hours. Pushed for almost four. Apparently that’s normal with first babies. But when she was finally out, I heard her cry. I was so relieved. They dried her off, and put her on my chest. She looked up at me, and I was gone. And I knew from that moment more than any other time in my pregnancy, that I was going to protect her from everything. And anyone who didn’t love her infinitely couldn’t be part of her life.”

Hajime waited for a moment before he spoke. 

“I wish you would have told me.” 

“And what would you have done?” Tooru stared at him with fierce, fiery eyes.

“I would like to think I would have been there for you. I love you.” 

“But would have been there for her? For Kaori? Would you have fallen in love with her?” 

“I...I don’t know.” 

Tooru nodded, and hugged his knees to his chest. “Then I would have still left.” 

“You didn’t give me a chance,” Hajime said quietly. “You just assumed.” 

“Yeah, because nothing screams I want to be a dad like going on a rant about how much you don’t want kids. You said, you said we’d break up.” 

“I said if you wanted a baby, we would. I wanted you to be happy, and if you wanted a baby that badly, and I didn’t, you wouldn’t be happy. I didn’t know you were already pregnant!” Hajime ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t snap at you.” 

“What do you want to do?” Tooru stared at him. 

“I don’t know.” Hajime rubbed the back of his head. “I guess...I guess I kind of want to meet her.” 

Tooru nodded, and finished off his wine. He rested his chin on his knees and glanced at Hajime. 

“She’s not gonna know you’re her father. Not at first. You’ll be Mommy’s friend. And if things go well, well, then you can be as involved or uninvolved as you want. If you want her to just be your friend’s kid, that’s fine. If you want nothing to do with us, that’s okay. If you want to take her places and play with her as an uncle, sure. But, but you only get to be her dad if you love her with every ounce of your being. Do you understand me?” 

Hajime stared at Tooru. Suddenly it was like he could breathe. The pressure was off. He didn’t have to pretend to be the perfect father. He didn’t have to give up everything. He didn’t have to do all the things that scared him unless he wanted to. Tooru was giving him an out. Hajime had never felt more torn. 

“Understood.” 

“She’s shy at first.” Tooru smiled. “And she loves magenta. Her favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast. She wants to be Belle. She believes in magic and fairies and friendly ghosts. Her favorite food is tuna and mayo onigiri. Her best friend is Ushiwaka’s son Joji. She loves to color and draw. I swear she’s gonna be an artist one day. And she likes to help me cook. And she’s the love of my life.” 

Tooru brushed the tears away. Hajime took his hand. Tooru chewed his lip before he looked at Hajime again. 

“Hajime?”

“Yes?”

“I love you so much, but this, us, it won’t ever work if you don’t want to be her dad. And...and...and if it’s too much to ask, can I have one last kiss? Because I’ve regretted not making you kiss me for six fucking years.” 

Hajime shifted. “Really? After everything I’ve done?” 

“Yeah,” Tooru whispered. “But don’t get it twisted, if you want me back, you’re gonna have to prove yourself to me. I just want my kiss.” 

Hajime nodded. He swallowed hard. He turned, took Tooru’s face in his hands, and kissed him goodbye. 

They sat in quiet silence for awhile. Tooru was crying. Hajime’s head was swimming. He didn’t know what it’d feel like to meet his daughter. He was so glad Tooru wasn’t thrusting him into it. He was finally letting Hajime make the choice. The thing about being her dad only if he loved her was something so quintessentially Tooru. He was always so fiercely protective. It was one of the things Hajime loved about him. 

And then it was settled. He’d meet Kaori in a week.

*****

Hajime didn’t know what to wear. What did you wear when you were meeting your child? Did he dress up? Should it be casual? Was there a dress code? He called Issei who told him to just wear whatever. _Kids don’t fucking care. Plus she’s probably inevitably going get you dirty anyway._ He settled on a pair of nice jeans with a black tee shirt and a grey hoodie over it. He made sure he had her present and headed toward Tooru’s house. Tooru thought it’d be best to meet there since it was her safe space. 

When Tooru opened the door, Hajime was surprised to see him wearing a baggy hoodie over a pair of track pants. It wasn’t like Tooru at all, or rather the Tooru he knew. The Tooru he had known tried to be fashionable even if at times he just looked a mess to Hajime. Tooru told him he just didn’t understand. And he was right. He didn’t understand. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi,” Tooru replied. He stepped aside to let Hajime in. “I made dinner too. Um, do you need anything? Water? Tea? Do you want a snack?” 

“You don’t have to play host to me, Tooru.” 

Hajime smirked. He wanted to kiss his forehead like he did when they were still dating. Back when they were still together. It was strange once they started living together, Tooru slowly started to change into how bonded omegas tended to get. Gentler. Homey. They just wanted to take care of their alphas. It was generally the same with alphas, though that started sooner. When Tooru got especially homey, wanting to cook and serve Hajime all the food, he’d calm him down by kissing his forehead, and pulling him close. 

Tooru led him into the living room where Beauty and the Beast was playing in French for some reason. Kaori was dressed up in a Belle dress complete with the tiara and necklace, hugging a little stuffed Beast. Her eyes were fixed on the television. Her hair was pulled up into a bun wrapped on the top of her head. She was so small. 

“Kaori?” Tooru said from behind him. No answer. “Kaori?” 

Tooru sighed, and turned off the television. That pulled the child out of her trance. 

“Hey! Mommy, I wanted to see it!” she whined. 

“Mommy has someone he wants you to meet.” 

Kaori finally noticed Hajime standing there. Her eyes went wide, and she looked back at her mother. She nodded slowly, and stood up. She held Tooru’s hand tightly and in her other arm gripped the Beast tightly against her chest. She stayed close to her mother, and hid behind him slightly when they got closer. 

“It’s okay, baby. Don’t be shy. This is Mommy’s friend, I-”

“Hajime,” the alpha said with a smile. He glanced up at Tooru. “You can call me Hajime.” 

“Hajime-_san_,” Tooru corrected. 

“No. Just Hajime.” 

Hajime held Tooru’s eye for a moment before turning back to Kaori. He kneeled down to be eye level with her. He found kids always did better that way. He held the bag out for her. He’d spent two hours in the toy section trying to decide what to get before deciding on the perfect gift. It was a little Beauty and the Beast playset. 

Kaori looked up at Tooru. “Go on,” he coaxed with a smile. 

Kaori took the present and when she pulled it out her face lit up. “Mommy! Mommy! Look!” 

“Wow, that’s so nice!” Tooru smiled. 

“Thank you! Thank you, Jime!” 

She threw her little arms around his neck. He froze for a second. He’d been hugged by so many kids over the years. He’d never frozen up like this. He’d never felt his heart stop. He never felt like he couldn’t breathe. But this was different. 

_His_ daughter was hugging him. 

He took a second to gather himself before hugging her back. She was so small. He wanted to just pick her up. This was all happening under Tooru’s watchful gaze. He omega had his arms across his chest, hugging himself more than anything. Hajime caught his eye. For a moment he saw fear blazing on his face, just for a moment. 

“Can you play with me?” Kaori asked. “Mommy’s making dinner. Mommy’s the best cooker in the world!” 

“In the world, huh?” 

“Yeah! All the other people’s Mommy’s aren’t as good. Joji, Joji’s mommy is a chef, but I think my mommy is better at cooking. Mommy knows all the ways I like my food.”

“Mommy’s pretty great, huh?” 

“Yeah. Mommy’s my best friend, and Joji’s my next friend.” 

Kaori took his hand, and led him to the center of the living room. She looked expectantly at Tooru who was brushing tears off his face. He quickly recovered and flipped the television back on to resume the movie. Kaori handed Hajime the box and waited. He didn’t know what she wanted him to do for a moment before remembering that she was only five and probably wanted him to open it for her. He got to work with all the pieces. Kaori was super excited when they were all out. 

“Belle’s my favorite,” she informed him, hugging the plastic figure. “She breaks the curse! And then the Beats turns back into a boy.” 

Kaori gasped and her eyes got wide. She jumped up and ran out of the room. Hajime blinked, confused. 

“Mommy! Mommy, we gotta start the movie over! I gotta show it to Jime.” 

“I think he’s already seen it,” Tooru said staring at Hajime. 

“But now with me. He’s my new friend. He gived a present.” 

“It’s okay. I think we should listen to Mommy.” 

“But you gotta see it. It’s my favorite!” Kaori tugged on Tooru’s pants before he finally rolled his eyes and gave in. “It has to be in Japanese, Mommy. Jime doesn’t know all the other ways.” 

“Fiiiiiine,” Tooru muttered. 

Kaori climbed into Hajime’s lap, and moved his arms to hug her. Tooru froze. Hajime went to pull away from her, but Kaori insisted. Tooru bit his lip, and new tears pooled in his eyes before he walked back to the kitchen. 

As they watched the movie, Kaori told him all her favorite parts. She sang the songs in her tiny voice. Hajime felt so awkward. He’d never wanted kids before. He liked other people’s kids. He didn’t want to be a dad. He still didn’t. It still felt claustrophobic and made him sick to think about. But there was something so natural with Kaori that he didn’t feel with other kids. Something innate. She fit so perfectly in his lap. Holding her seemed like the most natural thing in the world. He loved the way she talked about the movie. She was so excited, so full of life. She was his daughter. His. 

He’d never been more scared in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you liked it! Please let me know!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! Since being back in the States I've been working pretty much nonstop. I had some time to write! I hope y'all like it! 
> 
> Enjoy~

Hajime hadn’t stopped thinking about Kaori since he met her. Her little voice singing the songs played through his head. He could still feel her little arms around her neck, and hear her protests to Tooru about her new friend leaving. She was so small, but so strong. She was so much like Tooru at that age. He and Tooru had discussed the next steps over the phone. Hajime would get to see her on weekends if he wanted to. He could come over or they’d go to the park or whatever. That was the deal for now. Well Tooru had made those plans. Hajime was still on the fence. He wasn’t ready. But he did like Kaori. She was sweet. 

“So you’re just gonna let Tooru do that? Just let him dictate your life?” Issei rolled his eyes. 

“No, that’s not what’s happening. He’s trying to protect his daughter, and actually letting me make the choice now.” 

Issei stared at him from across the table. Hajime had brought him dinner since currently Takahiro was not speaking to him which meant he wasn’t cooking for him or preparing their meals. Issei promised it had nothing to do with him telling him about Kaori. Apparently Issei had said some choice words to him, and now the omega was pretending he didn’t exist. So now Hajime was saving Issei from hospital food. 

“He should have done that six years ago,” Issei muttered stabbing a piece of pork with his chopsticks. 

“I don’t disagree, but from what he told me, I understand. I’m not innocent by any means. I remember him asking me about having a kid so many times. He’d looked so scared every time he’d ask. He’s rekt of fear. His scent changed. I should have known. And I was pretty rude to him about all of that. I _was_ telling him we’d break up. And, and, and I can see why he needed me even if I didn’t know. You know how Hiro is and was. I don’t even know what I would have done. Or what I’m going to do. But fuck, Issei, meeting her was...wow.” 

Issei nodded. He put his chopsticks down, folded his arms across the table, and leaned forward with a small smile on his lips. 

“You know what you missed out on? Seeing your omega grow a life inside of them. It’s seeing how strong he is while he’s in so much pain bringing your child into this world. It’s this helplessness that you can’t do anything. It’s guilt that you’re the reason he’s in this pain. I was a wreck seeing Hiro get like that. He was begging me to make it stop hurting so much, but I couldn’t do anything. All I could do was breathe with him, hold his hand, hold him. And helping as much as I could while he pushed our child into this world. I didn’t look at Hiroki at first. I just watched Takahiro. Tears were streaming down his face, more in his eyes. His hair and clothes were sticking to him because of how much he’d been sweating through the labor. I watched him stare between his legs while the midwife got our son dried. I cut the cord, true, but I kept my eye on Hiro. And they placed our son on my husband’s chest and he laughed, _laughed_, Hajime. And then I finally saw him, my son. It was the most incredible moment of my entire life. You never got that. He took that away from you. I’m a father. I know what that’s like. And he stole that from you. He took everything from you. That’s why I’m so fucking angry about this whole thing. It’s bullshit.”

Hajime nodded and took a swig of his water. “See I couldn’t do that. I could never deal with that. Like no offense, but pregnant bellies freak me out. I’m never gonna get past that time when you showed me Hiroki moving inside Hiro.” Hajime shuddered for emphasis. “And I can’t handle Tooru being hurt. I can’t. When he had to get surgery back in high school...holy hell it was all I could do to keep it together. I don’t think I could do that. And you know how I get with blood.” 

“It’s different when it’s your own,” Issei mumbled. 

“You’re not me, Issei. I’m not mad at Tooru. Actually...actually I’m a little relieved I’m just finding out. I don’t think nineteen year old me could have handled this. Twenty-five year old me can barely handle it. And I skipped that whole baby thing with the sleepless nights and all that shit. She’s a good age now. Potty trained.” 

Issei set his jaw and stared at him. Hajime matched his intensity. He understood why his friend was upset. He was really into the whole dad thing. He called him so excited when Hiro got pregnant, and then the second time they told him in this cliche way. They had fucking gender reveal parties. That wasn’t Hajime. 

“It’s a good feeling, Hajime. I promise.” Issei stood up. “Thanks for dinner, man.”

“Yeah.” 

Hajime watched him go back to work. He reached over and grabbed Issei’s uneaten egg roll. He mulled over what Issei had said. It wasn’t fair for Issei to be so outraged for him. Nothing Issei said sounded appealing by any means. He couldn’t even picture a pregnant Tooru. He didn’t like how it looked so distorted on him. Just watching Takahiro walk looked painful. He couldn’t picture that. As far as giving birth, Hajime wouldn’t be any help. He didn’t even want to think about it. Cutting the cord made him want to gag. He didn’t want to be a dad. He didn’t. None of that was appealing.

But Kaori...Kaori was precious.

*****

Tooru was questioning everything. Seeing Hajime and Kaori interact had broken his heart. Kaori never asked about her dad. She was too young he guessed. But she’d be asking soon. He knew that. He’d held his breath since she was four years old and could understand that kind of thing. Kids talked about their parents then. It wasn’t all about Mommy. He hadn’t known what to tell her. He’d come up with a few lines. Daddy wasn’t ready. Daddy died. There are sometimes special kids who don’t have a daddy, and that’s okay. They’d find someone special...or they wouldn’t. 

Those were all the things he’d thought of, but he didn’t know if she would understand. He always prayed she’d never ask. But he was giving Hajime a chance. He had to prove himself that he wouldn’t just walk away. Kaori would be six in April, April fifth. It was November. She was old enough to know when someone walks out. He should have given Hajime the choice back then, before she was born. Because now, now he was on thin ice. He kept crying that day because Kaori took to Hajime so well. She instantly loved him. It was like somehow she knew. She was such a shy kid. It took a lot to bring her out of her shell, and Hajime had just handed her a toy and suddenly he was her three friend, or third best friend as it translated to. 

He thought of how much Hajime always loathed being a father, how he talked about how pregnant bellies were disgusting. He said that he’d seen what omegas looked like after having a baby, and how unattractive it was. Hajime talked about how annoying babies were, how they didn’t do much but cry and shit. He liked older kids, other people’s kids. He said he could never change a dirty diaper or be thrown up on. Breastfeeding was something that freaked him out. He didn’t do well with blood. All those things he’d said made Tooru feel like this was the best choice. He knew in his heart of hearts Hajime would have walked away back then. No matter what Hajime says now. He knew. He’d always known. He was just too scared to hear those words back then, too scared to know the love of his life up until Kaori was born found everything about him and their baby disgusting. That’s all he heard for fifteen weeks. 

So what now? Tooru had greenlit him seeing her. There were steps. He didn’t even know if Hajime wanted to see her again, or when. All he knew was when he told Hajime over the phone, he’d been quiet before mumbling an okay. Then Hajime hung up. Now Kaori was asking about him. Every time she asked, Tooru teared up. He couldn’t help it. Because finally, for the first time, she had her father in her life, and Tooru didn’t know what to do. 

“You know he told me I’m a shitty person for keeping it a secret?” Takahiro rolled his eyes as he folded clothes. 

“I’m sorry. I never should have asked you-” 

“No, Tooru, no. You’re my best friend. The four of us used to be the best of friends. I knew how Hajime felt just as much as you. I was there with you in the beginning, went with you to the abortion clinic, and to every one of your appointments. And I was there when Kaori was born. I understood your choice, and I still do. I think had I been in your shoes, I might have made a similar decision. Had it been Hajime and not Issei. Issei and I talked before we even started spending my heats together. If I got pregnant, we were keeping the baby and raising it together. That’s what we decided. You and Hajime...well he made it pretty clear.” 

Tooru worked on folding and unfolding a shirt. One of Hiroki’s. It was so small, so tiny. Tooru’s heart broke at the sight of it. He missed Kaori being so little. 

“But I shouldn’t have put you in the middle.” 

“It was my choice too, Tooru. And I think that Issei is overreacting. He’s thinking about how he would have felt, rather than looking at Hajime.” 

“I know he would have done right by me though...at least at first. But I know he would have walked away eventually. That was the thing that scared me the most, you know? That I’d be holding my breath for the day he told me he couldn’t do it anymore. I had to do it. You know I need to be in control. And, and if I could make that choice, I’d never hear those words.” 

Takahiro nodded, and shifted slightly. He put his hand on his stomach and smiled. He met Tooru’s eyes. 

“He’s going crazy right now. I cannot wait to meet him,” he breathed. 

“Can I feel?” Tooru asked.

Takahiro nodded and took Tooru’s hand. He placed it where the baby was moving around like crazy. Tooru smiled at the strong kicks. 

“I miss that,” Tooru whispered. “I miss feeling her.” 

“Well that’s probably the only good thing about it. And only when it’s not in the ribs or an organ.” Takahiro laughed. 

Tooru brushed a tear off his cheek. “I want another one so bad, Makki.” 

“You can’t call me that anymore,” Takahiro smiled softly. “Only Takahiro.” 

“I want another one so bad, _Takahiro._” Tooru smirked. 

“Well go out fuck some random alpha and get one,” Takahiro said. “Be a slut.” 

Tooru shook his head, and ran his fingers over his scent glands. “I want to be bonded. I want to have someone to hold me when I need it. I think I rely a little too much on Kaori when I’m getting touch starved. I just hold her. She’s getting older, and doesn’t really want to stay still that long. I just...I just wish I could find an alpha who’s okay with me having a kid.” 

“You’ll find someone. Not all alphas are assholes. Just let me know because clearly I haven’t found one. Neither of us have.” 

“Issei’s not an asshole. He spoils you.” 

“Used to. Now it’s like he doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me.” 

“I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s not about you!” Takahiro snapped. “It started a little after I stopped working. It’s just gotten worse.” 

“Oh…” 

“He told me I could. He said it was okay. But now, he just...he’s so...I don’t know. It’s like I used to be able to talk to him, but I can’t now. He says he’s too tired from work, but when I say I’m too tired for sex, because I am sometimes, he tells me why? What do I have to be tired about? I just don’t have energy outside of my heats these days and I’m gonna have another baby which makes me even more tired. He said, he said I always wanted to fuck when I was pregnant with Hiroki. And I did. But this time around I just...can’t. This pregnancy has literally sucked every inkling of a sex drive out of me.” Takahiro wiped his eyes. “He’s mad that we’re not having sex. We haven’t since I got pregnant. I think, I think he’s more excited about me giving birth so he can fuck me than actually seeing our baby.” 

“Oh…” 

“Maybe he should just fuck you,” Takahiro muttered. “You haven’t had a proper fuck in over six years. I know you’re probably desperate. There’s only so much you can accomplish with toys. Then he’d get to empty his ball and stop being an asshole. You’d get fucked and stop whining.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, shit, sorry. You’re not whining. Heats are hell without an alpha. I know.” Takahiro rubbed his face. “Do you wanna see? I can ask him.”

“I’m not sleeping with your husband,” Tooru said rolling his eyes. 

“Take one for the team. At least if he’s fucking you I know he’s not cheating on me. You know, I’m so scared he is. Especially when he says he’s working late. I get so scared. I even have called the hospital a few times to make sure he’s actually at work.” Takahiro chewed his lip for a moment with tears shining in his eyes.

“I think if he’s walking around like an asshole who hasn’t been laid, he’s not cheating on you,” Tooru smiled. 

Takahiro nodded. He pushed the laundry aside, and sat down on the bed next to Tooru. He took Tooru’s hand. 

“I need you more than ever right now, okay? I could literally have this baby any time now. You know Hiroki came at thirty-eight weeks. I’m thirty-seven tomorrow. I might kill Issei before then. Raise my kids for me. You can have another, two! They’ll need it with their mother in prison and their father dead.” 

Tooru laughed and laid his head against the omega’s shoulder. He closed his eyes, and just listened to Takahiro’s shallow breathing, to the cars outside the room. Hiroki started to fuss over the baby monitor. Takahiro groaned, and tried to push himself up. 

“I’ll get him. You stay put. I don’t miss those last few weeks where everything hurts and you feel like you’re about to die.” 

“My hips are just waiting to be split in half again.” 

“Joy,” Tooru shook his head. 

Hiroki was standing in his crib, with tears streaming down his face. Tooru walked into the room. 

“Mama!” Hiroki sobbed. 

“Just a minute.” 

Tooru picked him up, and made a face. The toddler was dirty. He grabbed a diaper and some wipes. Hiroki kept trying to roll over and do tricks. Tooru kept moving him over and doing all the tricks he’d learned with Kaori.

“Mama! Mama!” Hiroki kept sobbing. 

“What are you doing to my son?” Takahiro smirked in the doorway. 

“Changing him. What are you doing up? I told you to sit.” 

“I can’t stand listening to him cry for me.” 

Takahiro picked Hiroki up after Tooru got him snapped up. Hiroki instantly melted into his mother’s chest. He gripped fistfuls of Takahiro’s shirt, and sucked on his thumb. Tooru hugged himself. He missed that. Kaori still cried for him, but not the same way. Hiroki started tugging down Takahiro’s shirt. 

“Mulk!” 

“I think he’s hungry,” Takahiro laughed. 

He was still breastfeeding. He was very into child-led weaning. Hiroki mostly only nursed first thing in the morning, after his nap, and to go to bed. When he was sick, he’d only nurse. He couldn’t be put down for the night without suckling away. Takahiro said he didn’t know how much of it at night was really for sustenance or just comfort since he was latched much longer than usual. Tooru wished he could have done it with Kaori, but he’d had to work and go to school full time. He was pumping and breastfeeding at night. He gave up about a year. 

“I’ll get going. I probably need to go pick up Kaori from the Ushijimas. We’re supposed to leave to my parents’ house this evening for the weekend.” 

“Okay. It was good to see you.” Takahiro hugged Tooru while his son fussed and practically had breast out. 

“You too.” 

*****

Hajime found himself smiling as Tooru walked into the office. He found the way he kept it all together fascinating. He worked full time, was a single mother. He had no family here. Few friends from what Hajime was aware of. Yet managed to always cook a nice warm meal and pack his daughter's lunch. He played with her, made play dates, took her to the doctor, and made sure she got to school on time. He did all of that and still clocked in not a minute late. And he looked so flawless doing it. But that's how Tooru had always been. 

He was so independent. He wanted to prove he could do it all. Hajime remembered the days when they were kids. Tooru was always trying to keep up with the older kids. He strived to always have it together. It's what made him such a good captain and setter back in high school and junior high. He was always so capable. He could change the air in a room in a matter of seconds. With just a simple phrase, the team changed from a gaggle of silly teenage boys to serious players. He planned all their team meetings and get togethers. It was one of the things that made Hajime fall in love with him in the first place. 

"Good morning," Hajime greeted. 

Tooru paused for a second. "Good morning, Iwaizumi-san." 

Hajime's good mood was crushed with the formality of his answer. It was like they hadn't sat in Tooru's apartment the past weekend while Hajime met Tooru's daughter, his daughter. He still couldn't wrap his head around it. Tooru walked away with his head held high like he always did. He refused to show any signs of submission to any alpha at work. Hajime sighed and booted up his computer. 

"You have a thing for him?" his coworker asked with a smirk. 

"No. I told you, we grew up together."

The alpha stared at Hajime and shook his head. "Careful Iwaizumi, I heard a rumor he's not mated and has a kid. He's a single mother. One of the guys said he didn't see a mark on him at the store. He was holding his kid and his shirt was down a little. You know what that means."

Hajime tried to keep calm. He knew how those omegas were viewed. Whores. Sluts. It was one of the biggest taboos and worst thing for an omega. It was very slim if at all for an omega to bond after that unless the child's father bonded with the omega. He suddenly felt like the worst person in the world. He'd ruined him. Tooru always wanted to bond, get married. He'd dreamt of it since they were kids. And now? Now that might not ever happen. Unless things worked out between them or he found an open minded alpha, it wouldn't. And right now, Hajime didn't know what he'd do. He still wasn't sure he wanted to be a dad. Kaori was sweet and adorable, but so was Hiroki. Takeru had been as well. He used to have fun with him roasting Tooru. 

"I don't really think that's our business," Hajime said firmly. "And even if it's true, what's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with that?" The alpha raised a brow. "Everything. He is obviously just fucking everything that moves. He's probably got a million STDs."

"Or maybe he was in a relationship with an alpha, accidentally got pregnant, and the alpha didn't want a kid?" Hajime mentally winced. 

"Then the alpha was an idiot for not marking him first heat."

"You do realize omegas have their first heat in their early teens right?"

"Whores, Hajime. Trust me. You don't want to touch that."

Hajime glared at him. "Why don't the alphas get any flack?" 

"Let's just do our work please," Keiji interrupted. 

Hajime glanced at Keiji who had one arm wrapped around his now slightly protruding stomach while he worked. Takahiro would do that instinctively when there was a stressful situation like he was protecting his child from it. Tooru had done that too. He felt guilty making Keiji upset. That wasn’t what he’d meant to do. All he was trying to do was say good morning to Tooru, and try to let his dickhead coworker understand how awful he was. Had he ever sounded like that guy? Was he ever like that guy? He tried to hate Tooru so much and he probably said or at least thought like this guy. It made him sick to think about. He really needed to apologize about that. 

“Sorry,” he muttered to Keiji getting a scoff from his coworker. 

They worked silently for the rest of the morning. Tooru had passed by the desk a few times for meetings. Each time Hajime had to fight from saying anything to him. He tried to not stare at him. It wasn’t a good look. It wasn’t professional. He knew that, but holy fuck was he amazing.

Tooru had always been an aesthetically pleasing person. As a kid, he was adorable as fuck. He never went through that awkward duckling phase pretty much everyone went through. He was blessed with genes from the gods. Never even had so much as a single blemish that Hajime could remember, though Tooru used to complain about zits that were invisible to the naked eye. His bone structure was flawless. His hair was always so silky and flowy. His eyes were a warm shade of brown that had always made Hajime felt safe. He could remember one particular night when they were in high school. He couldn’t remember what the problem had been, but Hajime had been so upset and Tooru just held him, and ran his fingers through his hair. When Hajime looked up at him, he just stared into those eyes and suddenly everything was better. That night was their first time. 

Hajime needed to regroup. He couldn’t focus on his work. He had to remind himself that the math he was doing needed to be perfect. Any inaccuracies could result in death. He pushed himself from the desk, and walked to the breakroom. Tooru was leaning against the counter with a cup of black coffee in one hand, and his phone in the other while he texted away. 

“Hey,” Hajime smiled. 

“Hi,” Tooru said back. 

Tooru watched him while he made his coffee with an unreadable expression. Hajime turned to face him. 

“How’s your day going?” 

Tooru shifted, and shrugged. It was then that Hajime saw the tears glistening in the omega’s eyes. He had to fight himself from pulling him into a hug. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m just tired. Kaori kept me up all night.” 

“Isn’t she a little old for that?” Hajime sipped his coffee. 

“Some nights are bad,” Tooru muttered. 

“Hey, do you have time to go for a coffee after work? Just to talk.” 

“I have to pick up Kaori.” 

“Oh...I just...I have questions.” 

“Like?” 

Hajime took a deep breath and sighed. He didn’t particularly want to discuss all of this at work. He wasn’t ready for the talk of this office that they had a child together. Tooru would undoubtedly get the heat while Hajime would get no backlash. It was fucked up. He’d never thought about them before now, all the double standards. It made him angry. He had a sudden urge to go to HR and get his coworker fired. He’d never met an alpha with such a condescending view of omegas. 

“What was she like as a baby?” 

Tooru shifted again. “I don’t know. I mean she wasn’t bad, but she wasn’t good either. I was living with my parents, and they’d made it so clear that they weren’t helping. I was struggling. I don’t know.” 

“Well did she sleep okay?” 

Tooru laughed and shook his head. “Not more than two hours at a time. And she had to sleep on my chest. It scared me senseless which made it even worse. She didn’t sleep through the night until about a year ago.” 

“Wow…” 

“She doesn’t sleep in her room well. She’s scared of the dark. I’ve tried everything. Belle night light. A stuffed Belle. Beauty and the Beast bedding and pajamas. Nothing. She always ends up in bed with me.”

Hajime nodded, and sipped his coffee silently for a moment. “When did you move out of your parents’ place?” 

“Kaori was a little younger than a year. I was still in school and working. I found this daycare that I could afford, and I’d saved enough to move out. I just wanted space. I was tired of being scrutinized. It was really difficult, but we survived. It was this like tiny studio apartment. It didn’t have heat or AC. But we made it work.” Tooru smiled. “Moving into big apartment we have now with two bedrooms was like a dream. She was so excited to have her own room for her toys.”

“So you two are pretty close?” 

Tooru nodded. “She’s literally everything to me.” 

“You’re a good mom, Tooru.” 

Tooru tensed. He stared at Hajime. “But… you don’t know anything about-”

“You gave up so much for her. You love her. You protect her. You’re a good mom.” 

“Thank you,” Tooru mumbled. “I don’t feel like it.” 

“You are.” Hajime threw his cup away. “Seriously though, I wanna just get together to talk.” 

“I’ll let you know,” Tooru said softly. 

“Sounds like a date,” Hajime smirked as he left the breakroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment!


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